I seem to often post about ‘wonderful’ new products that I think are a really sad indictment of parenting today. Here’s the latest one:
Our house purchase completed this morning and we are now the proud owners of the house we’ve lived in for the last 9 months, which we love and prefer to all the other four houses we’ve had in the last five years. Our first project is decorating our big spare room for Flopsy and Mopsy to share; and to do work on the garden. I feel so grown up!
The rules are simple…Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
Sorry for not blogging much at the moment. Anyway, I’ve been tagged by the lovely Shukr so I have to now 
1. I’m an NCT Breastfeeding Counsellor and the Chair of our local branch
2. I’m a registered nurse and am about to start looking for a nursing agency to join ready for when Cotton-tail’s old enough to leave for a while
3. As well as my darling husband, I am also in love with Lee Mead (of Any Dream Will Do) and Bruce Parry (of Tribe)
4. I can french plait hair - something I thought all women could do until people started commenting in amazement at Flopsy’s and Mopsy’s french plaits!
5. I’m very particular about how I have my tea - so much so that I often politely refuse it and then make my own (or get some other trusted individual to make it for me!)
6. I do a strange sort of grin when I’m concentrating on something (in fact DH has just told me I do it about 80% of the time - time to try to stop that I think!)
7. I think that my babies’ armpits are the cutest thing in the world and can’t resist stroking them whenever visible!
8. I think my husband is the kindest, most wonderful and amazing person on the planet
Sorry, not tagging anyone as 8 people is a lot and with this thing doing the rounds nearly everyone in the world has probably been tagged already!
I’ve seen this all over the blogosphere! Put “[your name] needs” into google and see what comes up…
1. Clare needs more nous
2. Clare needs a temporary fiance (!!!)
3. Clare needs sure touch when invading Russia - something I do on a regular basis!
4. Clare needs to get out more - hahahahaha 
5. Clare needs to be found out and get her comeuppance for being so evil and nasty (?)
This afternoon we all witnessed the next stage of Cotton-tail’s development, she hauled herself along towards play money (highly appropriate toy for a 5 month old
). She achieved her goal to a rapturous applause from myself (dh - yes I am having a go with modern technology and sat at the computer!!), mummy and her 2 older sisters who thought it was the best thing ever.
We want some chickens. We’re thinking of getting ex-battery ones. We also want a veg patch. We also don’t have acres of land. I’m making a wild guess here but I suppose there are other people who want to grow veg and also have chickens…? How do you protect your veg from the hens?
Also, I’d really like to read a bit more about day-to-day life when it includes hens and I know some HE bloggers have chickens but can’t remember who…can someone point me in the right direction? Thanks 
Not sure how this post will turn out…I’m just going to go with my thoughts…
When I was first pregnant with Flopsy, I dutifully went to see my GP (as I was told to do by magazines and books) who said “congratulations - make an appointment to see the midwife”. When I got pregnant with Mopsy I did the same - good little girl that I am! Both times I came away wondering what the point had been. The GP hadn’t done a test, he’d just taken my word for it. Even if he had done a test, the home test kits are just as accurate as the ones they have at the surgery so it would have been a bit of a waste of money. So when I got pregnant with Cotton-tail I rang the surgery and asked for an appointment with the midwife. “Have you seen the Dr yet?” the nosy receptionist asked (not sure why I needed to write ‘nosy’ there - aren’t all drs receptionists nosy?). “No” I replied “Why?”. “Well you need to see the Dr to confirm that you are pregnant.” I refused and said “This is my third pregnancy - I can assure I am certainly pregnant. Isn’t it a bit of a waste of valuable surgery time for me to come in and be told something I know already? There’s no necessity for me to see the Dr at all - please make me an appointment with the midwife”. She saw sense, thank goodness, and made me one. But my story is not unusual. From the minute we conceive we are told by convention that we are not capable. We cannot even be trusted to know that we are pregnant without an all-seeing, all-knowing a fully trained Dr telling us that we are! This then leads onto us being told, implicitly, that we can’t be trusted to carry a baby to term. We need to have millions of tests to check we’re doing it well enough and if we’re not, well that’s ok - the state will step in and sort it all out for us. Before I go on, let me just make it clear that I am not bemoaning the provision of good antenatal care here. This post is about the fact that we are as close to being forced to conform as is humanly possible in a ‘democracy’ such as we live in. If we refuse tests we are frowned at and told that we’re irresponsible. We are punished repeatedly for this act of revolt by having it stamped across our notes for every health care professional (HCP) we come across to see and tell us off about. Having said that, I’ve been lucky enough to have mostly midwives and drs who believe in informed choice and in respecting informed choice even if it’s not what they’d choose. But I have been lucky - a lot of women are being ‘cared for’ by HCPs who are paternalistic - ‘they’ve done the training so they know best and anyone who thinks they know better are irresponsible’. So this all subconciously tells us we can’t manage without help - we are disempowered! How many women go to every single antenatal appointment they are given, have every single scan and every single blood test when they’re expecting their first baby?
Then the birth happens. We’re told it’s dangerous to birth our babies at home for various reasons. We are told that we won’t possibly be able to do it without help from midwives and drs. and all the wonderful equipment available in hospital. Never mind the fact that we have been able to birth our babies without it all since time began! That’s a huge subject to dissect, but the point is, we are still being disempowered - women truly don’t believe they have the power to birth a baby safely without help.
Then after our babies are born, our mothering skills are tested and checked up on by health visitors. Our ability to feed them is checked up on - not by asking us how we feel our babies are doing, but by weighing them! There is even a chart that health visitors refer to that tells them how well we’re doing as mothers. It has so much attention paid to it, that chart, despite the fact that there is so much research saying how badly it’s utilised and how there is far too much focus put on it. But still, it’s a good way for them to keep tabs on us incompetent mothers. I’ve heard mothers say ‘I kind of know he’s doing well - he’s happy, developing, filling out his clothes - but I like to go and get him weighed so I know for certain that he’s ok’. We don’t trust the evidence before our eyes and can’t believe we’re doing an ok job as a mother unless a HCP tells us so.
At some point in history, children started going to school. As more and more children did it, more and more people started to believe that all children should go to school. Then people started believing that children wouldn’t learn if they didn’t go to school. When I was a little girl, children went when they were five and were taught by teachers who could do pretty much what they wanted. Then they brought in the national curriculum and teachers were being implicitly told that they weren’t capable of teaching without interference from the powers that be. Well if that’s the case, then certainly parents can’t possibly be capable of ensuring their children are educated! Then they brought in ‘reception year’ for 4 year olds. Not compulsory at all, but of course more and more children started to go and now it is nearly unheard-of for children to wait to attend school until they’re 5. Because of course parents can’t possibly be trusted to educate their children once they get to 4 years old, can they? Actually, they can’t really be trusted to do that even once their children reach 3 years old, hence the free nursery places for three year old children, and the national curriculum for babies and toddlers. Parents themselves now don’t believe they’re capable of caring for their children once they hit 3 years old. The disempowerment is creeping into every facet of our parenting lives and it’s been getting worse and worse. I once read a post on a parenting forum from a mum of a 2-year-old who had been working but now was facing the prospect of being a stay-at-home-mum unable to afford nursery fees - she was very concerned that she wouldn’t be able to teach him what he needed to know and was asking for ideas as to how to teach him his numbers etc. This was not an unusual post! Parents really don’t trust themselves any more and that’s because the government doesn’t trust them.
This is quite a rambling post - sorry about that! Anyway, what I’m about to ramble onto now is my feelings about breastfeeding and empowerment. I believe that women’s belief in their ability to mother their babies can be damaged even further if they don’t succeed at breastfeeding. The reason I believe this is because of how I have noticed that when women who have not managed to birth their babies without help have found successful breastfeeding incredibly healing and they talk about their immense pride that they’re babies have grown and thrived because of their milk. This is not to say that mothers who don’t breastfeed don’t have the same ability to mother! What I wonder is if they have a less robust subconcious belief in their ability to mother. Whether they are more disempowered…? I would love to see a study into this, although how it would be done I have no idea! I am not as interested as you might imagine in getting babies breastfed. I am trained to be mother-centred and to focus on empowering mothers because how e nurture our babies is the main focus of the beginning of our parenting careers and if we feel empowered at the beginning, perhaps we continue to feel empowered and capable and more trusting of our instincts and innate ability to mother. So another reason for supporting breastfeeding supporters (not breastfeeding promoters - breastfeeding promotion is disempowering).
Of course, I don’t think breastfeeding isn’t the be-all-and-end-all, but it is often the starting point. The endless testing and direction and taking-over of parenting by the state, in my opinion, filters down to our children. By sending them to school, we (and their teachers) imply that they are not capable of learning without someone teaching them. By making them eat what and when we say so (or rather when the books/health visitors/whatever say so), we imply that they are not capable of regulating their own food intake. By forcing them to sleep at set times of the day (because that is what we are told we ought to do), we imply that they are not capable of going to sleep when they’re tired. I could go on. The fact is that everyone in the world has different experiences that everyone else. Everyone has different knowledge. We ought to be sharing that knowledge and experience but not telling other people what to do based on it or we rob them of the chance of gaining their own knowledge and experience - we disempower them and they go on to disempower others.
Again, apologies for the rambling nature of this post - these thoughts have been roaming my head for weeks now, waiting for an opportunity to be blogged about. And of course my children won’t do as their told and sit quietly while I concentrate 
There’s loads more to say/write about this subject
After a week when I’ve wanted to blog heaps! Flopsy’s 4th birthday was yesterday and we had a children’s party on Thursday at a local soft play place - I’ll post some photos later on. Her family party is next weekend and she’s very excited. Not everyone she loves will be there this year, but never mind. Hopefully there’ll be some nice long posts coming up soon LOL! Just a short one right now, though, as DH is off to work soon (Sunday morning - poo! And he’s got to work tomorrow Bank Holiday as well :-().
I often come across the belief that my passion for breastfeeding is just that - a passion, an interest, something I’ve enjoyed. But it’s not. It’s so much more than that. Breastfeeding is a desperately important social, political and economical issue and not enough people understand that. There are two good books I’d recommend people to read to illustrate this - The Politics of Breastfeeding by Gabrielle Palmer and Milk, Money and Madness by Naomi Baumslag (there are others on the subject but these, in my opinion, are the most succinct), but, if you don’t have time to read whole books, try this Guardian article for starters.
Try this:
Twenty-five years ago, when Dr Iqbal Kabir first came to work at this [diarrhoea hospital in Bangladesh], small babies were almost unknown as patients. Today, he says, infants make up as many as 70% of admissions.
The reason? Kabir shakes his head, and points to a poster on the wall above Eti’s bed. The same poster is displayed, many times, around the ward. It shows a baby’s bottle, with a big cross drawn heavily through it. The message is clear. “Bottlefeeding is harmful,” says Kabir. “Because bottlefed babies get diarrhoea, since their formula is mixed with dirty water and since their bottles are not sterile. Do you know how many breastfed babies are admitted here with diarrhoea? The number is almost zero.”
Or:
“The [artificial baby milk company] reps are very aggressive - there are three or four companies, and they come in every two weeks or so,” he says. “Their main aim is to recommend their product. Sometimes they bring gifts - Nestlé brought me a big cake at new year. Some companies give things like pens and notebooks, with their brand name on them. They try very hard - even though they know I am not interested, that I always recommend breastfeeding, still they come.”
Or:
“Nur has been fed on Lactogen [made by Nestle] from the outset, but his formula, she says, costs her and her husband Gias, who works in a mustard-dyeing factory, around 800 taka (£2) a week. And if that doesn’t sound much, set it against the fact that Gias earns only £6 a week. “We can’t afford it at all,” says Happi, shaking her head. “The milk uses up all our money.”
Or:
According to Save the Children’s report, infant mortality in Bangladesh alone could be cut by almost a third - saving the lives of 314 children every day - if breastfeeding rates were improved.
So it’s not just a hobby, it’s not just a whim of mine to support breastfeeding - IT SAVES LIVES!!! That’s why I’m passionate about it.
1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
“…pregnancy, birth and the hours, days and weeks and months that follow it…”
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can…what do u find?
My wall
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Bob the Builder
4. Without looking, guess what time it is?
10.00am
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
10.05am
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The washing machine
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Last night, to collect DH from work
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
My emails and my cousin’s facebook
9. What are you wearing?
Long brown skirt and biscuit coloured t-shirt
10. Did you dream last night?
Yes - I can’t remember much about it except that it was nice
11. When did you last laugh?
Half an hour ago when I couldn’t see Cotton-tail and realised she’d rolled under the sofa!
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
A CD rack; cobwebs; NCT agendas; kitchen cabinets
13. Seen anything weird lately?
Plenty…I have three very young children…I’m constantly seeing weird things!
14. What do you think of this quiz?
It’s taking up a bit of spare time until Bob the Builder finishes his building and the girls come downstairs
15. What is the last film you saw?
Casino Royale - DH went to see the regional premier for free because his work were providing the dinner suits for the cinema staff and he’s been raving about it ever since. We borrowed the DVD from my parents an age ago and only just managed to get Flopsy in bed early enough to watch it on Sunday night! Loved it and loved Daniel Craig
16.If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A lot of land and do a ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green’
17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know:
My hair is wet as I just got out of the shower
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I don’t know! Get everyone living in communities and burn all the parenting books so parenting was a whole lot easier!
19. Do you like to dance?
Yup
20. George Bush:
Is a wally
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Flopsy (ha ha!)
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Peter Rabbit (ha ha ha!)
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes - would love to live somewhere more libertarian!
24. What do you want to say to God when you reach the pearly gates?
Hi, wasn’t sure whether or not you existed!
Round 2
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Not much!
2. When is the next time you will have sex?
Ha ha! Um…I don’t know but I expect DH would love to know the answer to that one!
3. What’s a word that rhymes with “DOOR?”
Four
4. Favorite planet?
Don’t have one
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile?
A random 0208 number that I don’t recognise
6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
“Ring ring”
7. What shirt are you wearing?
I already told you!
8. Do you “label” yourself?
Yes - I have many roles and beliefs and choose which one I want to label myself according to my needs at the time!
9. Name the brand of shoes you’re currently wearing?
M&S
10. Bright or Dark Room?
Bright
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
I love her to bits and wish I could see her more often
12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sleeping (possbily breastfeeding)
13. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say?
“At work, safe and well clarey. Love you all xxx”
14. Where is your mailbox?
Eh?
15. What’s a word that you say a lot?
Ha ha! ‘Breastfeeding’ I think most of my friends and family would answer to that question…I think I say ‘love’ much more often though (as in ‘I love you’)
16.Who told you he/she loved you last?
Mopsy, I think
17. Last furry thing you touched?
The throw on our futon
18. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
None whatsoever
19. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
None - we only have a digital camera now
20. Who was the last person you had a chance meeting with?
I can’t remember!
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
I like being 27 at the moment - I haven’t had all three children at any other age
22. Your worst enemy?
Don’t know
23. What is your current desktop picture?
Flopsy, Mopsy and Cotton-tail
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
“Just put the tissue on the bookshelf and when Mopsy gets off the loo you can flush it away then”
25. If you had to choose between a million dollars, or being able to fly, which would you do?
A million dollars
26. Do you like someone?
Yes, I like lots and lots of people
27. The last song you listened to?
“Bob the Builder, Can you fix it?, Bob the Builder, Yes we can!”
28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet?
Absolutely
29. If you could punch one person in the face who’s in your life right now, who would it be?
Can’t think of anyone I’d like to punch in the face!
30. IF YOU COULD BE DOING ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Eating chocolate or maybe sleeping!
