I can’t sleep because my gums hurt too much. They’ve been getting worse and worse gradually for a couple of weeks now. I also have a crumbling wisdom tooth which is due to be removed on Tuesday. That’s not hurting right now though…well not in comparison to my sore gums :-( Off to the pharmacist first thing in the morning to try to get something to help me get through the next few days before my dentist appointment. Quite convenient that this flares up while I’m still getting my post-baby free dental care, but very unpleasant when I’m trying to fight insomnia as it is! I know everything feels worse in the middle of the night. Trying to distract myself by surfing the net but it’s not really working 
Although I might make up a list of my own that ends up having more titles in bold 
Look at the list of (100) books below.
Bold the ones you’ve read.
Italicise the ones you want to read.
Leave blank the ones that you aren’t interested in.
Movies don’t count.
1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban(Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25 . Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie(Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. Bible
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrey Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davies)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down(Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)
When I first started getting cross easily, I put it down to exhaustion from not sleeping. Then I wondered why I wasn’t sleeping and thought that maybe the rage and the insomnia were both being caused by the same thing. Gill suggested that it might still be exhaustion. Now Mum had suggested a thought as to why I’m not sleeping and I now think that the anger is caused by tiredness. Not sure how I’m going to get sleeping though if this is the reason:
A few weeks ago Dh spent the night have horrific dreams - really upsetting. Each time he woke, he said, he saw a figure in the doorway…not a sinister figure. Eventually Dh woke me up to tell me about his dreams, in an attempt to take his mind off them. I did as I automatically do every single time I wake and put my hand onto Cotton-tail’s tummy to see if she is breathing. She wasn’t. I screamed and grabbed Cotton-tail and gave her a shake. She opened her eyes and grinned at me. Dh and I spent the next hour crying, then playing with Cotton-tail, then helping her get back to sleep. Dh had no more nightmares and the ‘figure’ had gone. Was the figure Cotton-tail’s guardian angel? I believe so. I believe he was keeping Dh tossing and turning in his sleep to disturb Cotton-tail and keep her breathing.
However, it does appear to be since that night that I haven’t been able to sleep, having only had a handful of nights when I can. The nights I can sleep are getting slowly more frequent. If that’s the reason, I guess I just have to be patient and wait until peaceful sleep returns to me as my subconcious gets more confident that Cotton-tail is safe.
Last night was one of our bad ones. In a fury I wrote a very honest and angry post and then deleted it a couple of hours later. I’m a bit annoyed I deleted it because I personally feel it would be much easier to parent if everyone were honest about the times parenting is crap. When I post these sorts of things, I invariably get lots of supportive comments and emails from people telling me I’m not alone…so why don’t I read about other parents having a tough time? Maybe we should have a tagging thing about the hard things about parenting…or would it end up being too depressing? Anyway, for anyone who didn’t read the post last night, it was about the inevitability of our children deciding that last night was the night they would stay up very late being as last night was the first night in ages that DH and I had a secret plan to stay up watching Chicago. I got very cross and angry and had to run away into the kitchen to type out my frustrations. People have said ‘lack of bedtimes and time for me to be with my partner is one of the reasons we don’t do TCS’ but TCS is firmly against anyone self-sacrificing, including parents. So…we’re not getting right. We are struggling and struggling to find a common preference…a solution that suits everyone. We let the children stay up and play and they get to a point where they want to go to bed. That’s fine - we enjoy spending time together as a family; time Dh wouldn’t get otherwise as he works relatively long hours. However, we are then too tired to stay up together any later usually as Dh has to get up very early for work and I wake several times in the night to deal with babies (and I’m suffering from insomnia anyway at the moment). Today Dh has the day off, so we thought we could be adventurous and stay up beyond 10pm last night to watch a dvd and spend some time just the two of us. Stupid plan because the children used their special telepathic powers to know we had a plan and, after starting off normally going to sleep, suddenly decided to get up. Which was when I lost my temper. In the end Dh got them to sleep by 10pm and we decided to stay up anyway, getting to bed by 12.30am - way later that usual.
Having written all that, last night I managed to get to sleep no trouble, and had no long awake periods in the night and we all woke naturally around 9am-ish so maybe staying up late the night before Dh’s days off is a solution. Ideally, I’d like to be able to watch more grown-up tv, but that’s just not going to happen at the moment and I’m quite enjoying our more leisurely evenings when we don’t have a bedtime battle. Let’s see how things go.
The rules are simple…Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
Sorry for not blogging much at the moment. Anyway, I’ve been tagged by the lovely Shukr so I have to now 
1. I’m an NCT Breastfeeding Counsellor and the Chair of our local branch
2. I’m a registered nurse and am about to start looking for a nursing agency to join ready for when Cotton-tail’s old enough to leave for a while
3. As well as my darling husband, I am also in love with Lee Mead (of Any Dream Will Do) and Bruce Parry (of Tribe)
4. I can french plait hair - something I thought all women could do until people started commenting in amazement at Flopsy’s and Mopsy’s french plaits!
5. I’m very particular about how I have my tea - so much so that I often politely refuse it and then make my own (or get some other trusted individual to make it for me!)
6. I do a strange sort of grin when I’m concentrating on something (in fact DH has just told me I do it about 80% of the time - time to try to stop that I think!)
7. I think that my babies’ armpits are the cutest thing in the world and can’t resist stroking them whenever visible!
8. I think my husband is the kindest, most wonderful and amazing person on the planet
Sorry, not tagging anyone as 8 people is a lot and with this thing doing the rounds nearly everyone in the world has probably been tagged already!
I’ve seen this all over the blogosphere! Put “[your name] needs” into google and see what comes up…
1. Clare needs more nous
2. Clare needs a temporary fiance (!!!)
3. Clare needs sure touch when invading Russia - something I do on a regular basis!
4. Clare needs to get out more - hahahahaha
5. Clare needs to be found out and get her comeuppance for being so evil and nasty (?)
1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
“…pregnancy, birth and the hours, days and weeks and months that follow it…”
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can…what do u find?
My wall
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Bob the Builder
4. Without looking, guess what time it is?
10.00am
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
10.05am
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The washing machine
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Last night, to collect DH from work
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
My emails and my cousin’s facebook
9. What are you wearing?
Long brown skirt and biscuit coloured t-shirt
10. Did you dream last night?
Yes - I can’t remember much about it except that it was nice
11. When did you last laugh?
Half an hour ago when I couldn’t see Cotton-tail and realised she’d rolled under the sofa!
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
A CD rack; cobwebs; NCT agendas; kitchen cabinets
13. Seen anything weird lately?
Plenty…I have three very young children…I’m constantly seeing weird things!
14. What do you think of this quiz?
It’s taking up a bit of spare time until Bob the Builder finishes his building and the girls come downstairs
15. What is the last film you saw?
Casino Royale - DH went to see the regional premier for free because his work were providing the dinner suits for the cinema staff and he’s been raving about it ever since. We borrowed the DVD from my parents an age ago and only just managed to get Flopsy in bed early enough to watch it on Sunday night! Loved it and loved Daniel Craig
16.If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A lot of land and do a ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green’
17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know:
My hair is wet as I just got out of the shower
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I don’t know! Get everyone living in communities and burn all the parenting books so parenting was a whole lot easier!
19. Do you like to dance?
Yup
20. George Bush:
Is a wally
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Flopsy (ha ha!)
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Peter Rabbit (ha ha ha!)
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes - would love to live somewhere more libertarian!
24. What do you want to say to God when you reach the pearly gates?
Hi, wasn’t sure whether or not you existed!
Round 2
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Not much!
2. When is the next time you will have sex?
Ha ha! Um…I don’t know but I expect DH would love to know the answer to that one!
3. What’s a word that rhymes with “DOOR?”
Four
4. Favorite planet?
Don’t have one
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile?
A random 0208 number that I don’t recognise
6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
“Ring ring”
7. What shirt are you wearing?
I already told you!
8. Do you “label” yourself?
Yes - I have many roles and beliefs and choose which one I want to label myself according to my needs at the time!
9. Name the brand of shoes you’re currently wearing?
M&S
10. Bright or Dark Room?
Bright
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
I love her to bits and wish I could see her more often
12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sleeping (possbily breastfeeding)
13. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say?
“At work, safe and well clarey. Love you all xxx”
14. Where is your mailbox?
Eh?
15. What’s a word that you say a lot?
Ha ha! ‘Breastfeeding’ I think most of my friends and family would answer to that question…I think I say ‘love’ much more often though (as in ‘I love you’)
16.Who told you he/she loved you last?
Mopsy, I think
17. Last furry thing you touched?
The throw on our futon
18. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
None whatsoever
19. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
None - we only have a digital camera now
20. Who was the last person you had a chance meeting with?
I can’t remember!
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
I like being 27 at the moment - I haven’t had all three children at any other age
22. Your worst enemy?
Don’t know
23. What is your current desktop picture?
Flopsy, Mopsy and Cotton-tail
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
“Just put the tissue on the bookshelf and when Mopsy gets off the loo you can flush it away then”
25. If you had to choose between a million dollars, or being able to fly, which would you do?
A million dollars
26. Do you like someone?
Yes, I like lots and lots of people
27. The last song you listened to?
“Bob the Builder, Can you fix it?, Bob the Builder, Yes we can!”
28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet?
Absolutely
29. If you could punch one person in the face who’s in your life right now, who would it be?
Can’t think of anyone I’d like to punch in the face!
30. IF YOU COULD BE DOING ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Eating chocolate or maybe sleeping!
Oh dear…am currently addicted to facebook.com. My cousin and I look at it every five minutes to see if we’ve made any more friends - it’s so sad! Have any other bloggers been struck by this addiction I wonder…any more potential friends around…? What a saddo I am!
This survey piqued my interest on a couple of blogs so thought I’d do it myself:
Name: Mummy (to the majority of my family :-))
Age: 27
Height: 5′1″
Weight: 10st
Do you consider yourself attractive? Not especially, but I don’t think I’m totally unattractive either! Occassionally I see a photo of myself and think ‘Ooh, I looked quite nice then!’ but most photos I see I think ‘Hmm…not going to win any beauty contests any time soon!’.
Do others consider you attractive? My DH and my mum say I’m beautiful, but tehy might be biased. Mopsy says ‘you bootiful’ after she’s brushed her hair, but that’s probably just because that’s what we say to her when we’ve brushed hers! I expect Botticelli would have found my body attractive 
What is your biggest insecurity and why? Now? My saggy belly - it’s not huge, but it’s a long way from being flat!
Have you/Would you consider using plastic surgery? Why or why not? No way, not ever! Would hate to have to have important surgery, let alone something totally unneccessary - all surgery is dangerous, not to mention flipping expensive if it’s not essential!
What is your relationship with make-up? Wear it once or twice a year if I go to a party or wedding (and usually have to borrow it from a friend)! I’m too lazy to wear it, and can’t really justify the expense when there are a million things I’d prefer to spend my money on.
How much money do you/think is reasonable to spend on your appearance? Depends how much money you’ve got! I personally find it quite offensive when people with trowel-loads of make-up on stand in front of me telling me they can’t afford new shoes for their children. However, if you’ve got the money, then I guess it’s about choosing what treats you’d like to spend it on, and if your appearance is important to you, then by all means spend it on make up/hair products/whatever. Personally, I’d rather spend it on chocolate or books or taking the children out somewhere or a gazillion other things.
What is your experience of dieting? Not much…a few months after having Flopsy and after having Mopsy I kind of half-heartedly tried to eat a little less, but quickly decided I’d rather spend my time worrying about more important things. I’ve recently had my customary ‘yuck, my body is minging’ stage after having Cotton-tail but that passed pretty quickly this time round.
Have you/ anyone you know tried any specific diet programs i.e. Lighter Life? How did that affect your health? your moods? your relationships? I know that people seem to feel pretty miserable when they’re turning down delicious puddings that everyone else is enjoying! Don’t really know many strict dieters.
Do you have any experiences of eating disorders i.e. either yourself or someone you know? I am friends with someone who I know has suffered from eating issues, but not whilst I’ve known her.
Have you had negative experiences relating to your appearance and people’s reactions to it? Flopsy said I was fat the other day, but not in a negative way…she was just describing the way I looked :-) And my siblings have been pretty mean when we’ve been fighting as children ;-) But other than that, not really - maybe I’m just oblivious to it all!
What about positive reactions to your body? Well, my DH still tells me he thinks I’m gorgeous (and other lovely adjectives), and my children have all reacted positively to the milk-producing parts of my body :-)
How has your body image and attitude changed over the years? I used to be very happy with the way I looked, and felt that how I looked was quite important. I was slim before I got married, and had an alright figure. Since having children I’ve got fatter and my shape has changed. Bits of me are flabbier and bigger (or cuddlier - depends how you look at it!) but somehow I care less. I love that my flabby belly is flabby because it’s grown three beautiful daughters. I love that it’s soft enough for Mopsy to enjoy stroking when she’s feeding. I love that Flopsy finds me cuddly. I don’t often look in a full-length mirror and feel a bit disheartened whenever I do - sometimes I can get quite upset. But my solution to that is to not look in full length mirrors unless I’m wearing something flattering :-D! Also, I feel at my most sexy and gorgeous when heavily pregnant - I tend to lose weight when I’m pregnant and there’s no loose flesh hanging around then either
What do you love about your body? Apart from what my body is capable of doing and what it’s done so far…I like my lower legs. My ankles are slim
What is your opinion on the media portrayal of women’s bodies? Wish it would celebrate real women’s figures, particularly women whose bodies have done what they were made to do…bear children!
What would you change about the way you/ your friends/ your family/ general people see their bodies? I think most of the people I am close to have a fairly positive body image and am desperate that my children growing up with a good body image too.
What makes you feel beautiful? Not thinking about my physical appearance.
and just for fun… Do you shave legs/pits/upper lip moustache? :-D I’m afraid I do (well shave legs and armpits and wax upper lip)! Wish it was more acceptable not to, because it’s such a pain in the bum, but I have very dark hair and my cultural conditioning has made me hate being hairy :-(
