…but I ain’t in labour yet! Went to DH’s work do and it was brilliant - so glad I hadn’t had the baby yet. I wore a plain, but glam, tight black jersey dress and DH said ‘Wow! You like you did when I first met you’, which was very complimentary but slightly bizarre considering I had his third child pushing the dress out at the front by about two foot! The meal was delicious, as was my Malibu and Diet Coke (my attempt to relax enough to start labour that night - ha ha ha!). The chair was just the wrong height, though, as baby is now so low I have to be on quite a high chair to have room for my belly when sitting!
Today…well, I’m exhausted but, despite having bits of ’show’ all yesterday, have had no signs of labour at all today and, having managed to get to last night’s do, was feeling thoroughly fed up and miserable this morning. Luckily Mum, who babysat, had stayed the night so when DH went off to work, I didn’t have to do anything to look after the girls and lovely Mum spent the afternoon doing all my cleaning so I’ve had a really restful day. I’m now not feeling quite so fed up as I was this morning. What’s making me impatient isn’t actually the idea of a long pregnancy (for once!), but the desire to be settled with the baby and a bit recovered by Christmas Day. It’s ironic that the one pregnancy I feel comfortable in at the end, and the one that I wouldn’t normally mind going on longer than expected, is the one that, were the baby to be a few days late, would be the most inconvenient! So…right now? I’m comfortable, as I have felt for a few days now, baby is low, no signs of labour at the moment, getting runs of contractions as I start going to sleep every evening and once I wake up every morning but they no longer really register with me as I know they don’t mean anything. Need some “baby-out by Wednesday” vibes, I think, as that would give me a good few days to get over the birth and then to find it nice and easy to travel the 45mins to my parents house for a lovely Christmas Day with our family and new addition. Much later than that and Christmas is going to get more and more complicated! Of course, the other vibes I could use are “if the baby isn’t out by Wednesday, could it please wait until Boxing Day?” ones LOL!
ps. You know, it’s all very well and good baby being engaged before labour starts, but I am very, very fed up of having to go to the loo every hour feeling like I’m ready to pee Niagara Falls just to pee a teaspoonfull instead!
Nothing at all of note today. I’ve felt very comfortable most of the day, just tired, with just a few contractions. However, again I feel very upbeat and unconcerned that labour might not be on the way for a while yet. We’ve got DH’s Christmas work do tomorrow night, which I didn’t think I’d make earlier on in the week, but I’m now quite excited about and looking forward to so I don’t think I’ll be at all disappointed if I’m not in labour by tomorrow!
On a totally different note, I’ve spent last night and today reading mainstream pregnancy/baby magazines. I bought about a million when I was expecting Flopsy (as you do!), and about three when expecting Mopsy as I remembered how they all say the same things and also all say things that irritate me intensely! However, I had just finished a trashy novel and didn’t feel like I had the concentration to get started on another one so asked DH to get me the magazines so I had something to read that didn’t require any concentration and were on the subject that is most on my mind at the moment! There was a big article in one on reflux in babies. I don’t know why I knew so little about this problem, suffering from it myself since birth (I have a hiatus hernia), but I am now absolutely certain that Mopsy was suffering from this as a small baby. I put her incessant crying/screaming/back arching down to colic, but I can see now that it could easily have been acid reflux. Flopsy certainly had reflux, but was only sick a lot, didn’t have any weight issues and didn’t have any pain. Mopsy was a bit less sick, but certainly had a great deal of pain. Would I have gone to the dr for medication? I don’t know, but I think I will bear it in mind if this baby suffers in the same way as our current GP surgery is very anti-unnecessary medication (it’s an anthroposophical/homeopathy practice) and may well have some more natural remedies they could suggest. I’ll also try cutting out dairy if this baby suffers, as I understand a dairy intolerance can cause acid reflux and there is definitely a history of dairy intolerance in our family. I’ve often put Flopsy and Mopsy’s sickiness down to dairy in my diet, but for some reason I had never thought to blame it for her crying as well.
All day I’ve had consistently strong contractions every 30-60 minutes, but not as much discomfort bump/buttocks/leg-wise as yesterday. No contractions for ages now and am feeling pretty comfortable. Not sure how I feel about this, but I certainly feel a bit irritated that within the space of a few hours, I swing so easily from feeling very labour-ish and believing whole-heartedly that, although it might not be starting properly just yet, it will be starting in just a couple of days to feeling totally normal and that I’ll be pregnant for another two weeks or so yet! Why can’t bodies/babies be a bit more polite and just let us know when/how and where they’re going to get started? I wouldn’t mind waiting for a while if that’s what I knew to expect, but expecting things to start soon, and then feeling like it’ll be ages yet is very, very frustrating! Hope I sleep well again tonight - it’s all I can focus on at the moment - getting enough rest to labour effectively when the time does eventually come!
Well, I officially have only 7 days to go until my due date now. I had a lovely warm bath last night after supper, which I had to force down, and that completely removed all aches and pains while I was in the water. My lower-bump pain returned after I got out, but the leg and buttock pain had gone so I was grateful for that. We decorated the Christmas tree and then went to bed - me with some paracetamol! A good nights’ sleep all round, thank goodness. Pain in my bump is much less this morning so I wonder if baby’s moved up a bit again, but it’s still a bit painful so I guess it’s still a little bit engaged. More of the contractions are uncomfortable now, but infrequent again and some are pretty pathetic. I feel much more upbeat this morning and much happier at the prospect of potentially another week or more of this going on. I feel like I have more energy again, but no motivation to get cleaning so nesting has obviously stopped for now. Let’s see how today goes!
So the day of contractions was not in vain - baby is 2/5 engaged and will probably stay that way. MW said that 3rd babies often require a few days here and there of contractions before labour real begins, but that once it does it doesn’t take very long. So I am expecting a few more days worth of helpful, but not labour, contractions and am glad I know about this now as the next day/night I feel like that I can just take some paracetamol and let it happen *knowing* that it almost definitely isn’t ‘it’. The other good news is that she’ll come to the birth herself unless I go into labour on Boxing Day! This really is wonderful news as she’s such a hands-off midwife and won’t press me to do anything, or even disturb me, if that’s what I want. Going for any old MW on the on-call rota could mean I get a hospital-based, bossy, hands-on midwife, which was what I was dreading. I can really relax now - will definitely be having lots of baths as baby’s head is causing me a lot of lower-bump pain. It’s been painful to walk all day today, and now I know why. I’m enjoying posting these updates, and I hope that I enjoy looking back on them some time, even if no one else reads them! As long as things don’t go too fast when I actually am in labour, I can quite see me jotting down little updates as things happen. I (my body) am feeling so ready though, I really don’t think I’ll reach my due date this time, and if I do then I should think I’ll be absolutely fed up and exhausted if it means belly pain for the next week!
Yesterday morning I woke with proper contractions (ie. not Braxton Hicks) - short, painless and irregular, but frequent. My whole lower body ached as well. The two days before I had been nesting like mad and felt slightly nauseous. So guess what I thought?…early labour, how exciting! DH had the day off anyway, so we went off to a BF Support group where he played with the girls and I chatted to mums. After that we did our food shopping (I sat and drank tea in the coffee shop!), came back, tidied up (our plan was to get things at least tidy *in case* it was labour, but not set anything up until things started progressing), DH and the girls had lunch (I wasn’t hungry…another ’sign’?), then we went to buy the Christmas Tree (it’s not up yet - that’s happening on Thursday morning when DH starts work late), came back, had supper then remembered we hadn’t yet done my belly cast that DH bought! Maybe the baby was ‘waiting’ for that (ha ha!) so we settled down with hundreds of towels and a bowl of water for some really messy time with the girls. It was good fun, if a tiny bit stressful, and has produced a somewhat bumpy cast due to the girls randomly placing screwed up bits of plaster on my tummy. Went to bed having felt absolutely exhausted since 2pm (another sign?) still having contractions. Had an horrific night with little Mopsy (not sure why, but she was desperately unsettled) and me finding it very, very difficult to sleep anyway, what with an aching pelvis and frequent contractions. Finally we all managed to be asleep at around 2ish (by my reckoning) and slept the rest of the night peacefully. Guess what! Hardly any contractions this morning at all!!!!!!!!! Grrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!! I’ve been planning so strongly to just be patient this time round, and to try not to think about whether contractions mean labour or just a pain in the back/tummy, but I just couldn’t help it! I’m cross that it’s all come to nothing and cross with myself that I got my hopes up. I’m not even that desperate to have the baby soon - I want to go to DH’s Christmas do on Saturday night, and I want to do our couples antenatal yoga evening next Tuesday. So why is it so frustrating to not be in labour? I guess it’s the not knowing - I’d rather just get on with each day without having contractions coming and going, each one seeming to taunt me with “I might mean something, I might not…”.
Plan for today: My good friend is coming to pick us up to take us to BIBS so that will hopefully distract me for a couple of hours. My MW is coming to see me for the second time this afternoon, so that will be a nice chance to chat over plans and feelings etc. Then lots of tv/computer for the girls while I doze on the sofa I think (just about all I have the energy for in the afternoons at the moment!).
Plan for tomorrow: Tree decorating!!!!!!!!!! Yay! Then DH goes off to work and won’t get back until 9pm so my mum’s coming over for the afternoon - maybe we’ll take the girls somewhere fun…mum, what do you think?
Plan for Friday: My BFC Tutor is coming over first thing in the morning for my exit interview (I’ll have to get up and going early - I’m still in my nighty right now! Eek - just saw the time (10.50am) - my friend will be here in half an hour!). Afternoon…Katherine…did you get my email? I’m hoping you’ll come over to play (well, the children can play, we’ll try and fob them off all afternoon!).
Saturday: Mum and Dad come over on Saturdays, then my Dad’s going off to visit his family and leaving Mum with us to babysit while we go to DH’s work do in the evening.
Sunday: Mum will be with us most of the day - will have to make some plans.
Monday: Nothing - aaarrrggghhh!!! Yoga in the evening.
Tuesday: DH’s day off - might take the girls to see Father Christmas. Couples yoga in the evening.
Weds: BIBS? Nothing else.
Thursday: Mum comes over - due date!!!!!!!!!! Hopefully won’t have got that far (ha ha ha!)
Can’t think any further ahead - hope to be cuddling my baby before the end of the plans I’ve made so far!
No baby news, I’m afraid. I haven’t been blogging as I am finding that I am caring less and less about everything lately - part of late pregnancy inwards-focussing I guess! Notable updates:
1. On Wednesday (6th), I got my Licence to Practise as a BFC - I’m finally qualified and my three years’ hard work has paid off. I was so chuffed to bits to get the acceptance letter and thorough comments on my portfolio (which I don’t think I ever blogged about submitting! - It was huge and included all my academic work over the last 3 years, as well as lots of other supporting material) but the excitement has worn off as my body has encouraged me again to stop focussing on external things!
2. My pelvis is very painful now some days - some mornings I’m hobbling around the kitchen like an old woman getting breakfast for the girls. I have to spend about an hour or so kneeling and leaning over my birth ball to loosen it all up. Yoga is immensely helpful and I can’t believe I didn’t do with when I was expecting the girls.
3. Flopsy has had the sickness bug - the week before last - but I don’t think she had it too badly as it only lasted a night and a day.
4. Mopsy has had a really horrible non-specific virus with a wierd rash that hasn’t touched her torso and a very painful mouth. She didn’t eat a thing for 4 days and just breastfed or cried or slept for about 24 hours at one point. I think I’ve proved that nipple stimulation doesn’t actually work as a natural induction technique! She’s now eating again, at long last, but both girls have a very nasty cough and Flopsy is needing her inhaler again.
5. Pre-labour has started - hurrah (sarcastic!). I’m getting runs of contractions at night (as I did with the girls) and baby is very, very low now. Yesterday and today I have been uncontrollably nesting. This has all started earlier than it did with the girls so maybe this baby won’t come so late. I swing every minute from hoping baby comes early, to hoping I don’t miss out on the fun things we’ve got planned over the next 10 days. I’m excited about labour and birthing, and looking forward very much to the girls meeting the baby, but I’m also looking forward to DH’s Christmas do on Saturday, and putting the Christmas tree up etc. On the other hand, despite vaguely looking forward to these things, I’m not really that enthusiastic about anything other than the contractions I’m having anyway - and the odd period of time that my back’s not hurting!
6. My closest friend rang last night to tell me she’s engaged so I’m very excited for her and her fiance. I haven’t seen her for 10 months, and I think probably haven’t spoken to her for nearly as long - we have a wonderful friendship that allows us to pick up where we left off however long the gap between communications. She’s hoping to come and stay in February and I can’t wait.
I think that’s it…might go and surf some other blogs now and maybe leave a few comments around the place. Hope I feel a pull back to the blogosphere again once the baby’s born - I kind of miss blogging, but also feel so unenthusiastic about everything and blogging comes into that, unfortunately! DH reckons I’ll be spending my labour posting updates on here LOL!
and finished them a few hours ago - I’m really pleased with them as I had no idea if they’d turn out ok.
I’m now making a sleeve to finish a raglan sweater I started about a year or so ago for a 12m old, and will hopefully be ok for this baby next winter (it’s blue, so no problem with the colour) and then I’m going to knit a very, very simple cardigan with some wool DH is buying for me today which shouldn’t take too long - it really is very simple. All in garter stitch, and all in one piece with no collar. Hopefully I’ll be able to have it made by the time the baby comes and I’m planning on starting something for Flopsy or Mopsy - something nice and complicated for them to wear next winter. I expect it won’t be finished until baby number 3 is the right age for it, but ho hum! It’s the process that counts (so I keep telling myself!) and I’m really enjoying having something to be doing that’s practical and creative to keep my mind off the fact that I’m about to be letting go of what could well be my last baby. I don’t really want this one to be born as I don’t want to share it with anyone - is that selfish? With Flopsy and Mopsy I moaned and whined my way through my last few weeks - back ache, indigestion, inability to eat anything I wanted, not sleeping etc. etc. but then both times we were expecting to have more. This time we think it might be the last baby we have, which makes me want to hang onto this pregnancy as long as possible and is making me far, far more tolerant of the unpleasant bits of late pregnancy that I was with either of the girls. I’ve actually cried a couple of times at the thought of this pregnancy ending - no more feeling those lovely kicks and tumbles in my tummy. That’s something I’ve always felt sad at losing, but the idea it might be the last time I feel it makes me feel especially sad. Oh well, nothing I can do to stop it happening, and there are so many wonderful things to come once it’s born - cuddling a tiny little being again, seeing the girls’ reaction to him/her, seeing his/her reaction to the girls.
Tomorrow I’ll be 36 weeks pregnant, which means that in one week’s time I’ll be classed as ‘term’ and baby could, in theory, healthily arrive any time from now on. It also means that in only two week’s time, if my last two pregnancies are anything to go by, I’ll start the joyful process of two weeks of pre-labour - waking each night with twinges and wondering if by the next morning I’ll be in labour. Luckily this time round I’ll be expecting it and certainly will not be getting my hopes up each night! I hereby pledge to completely ignore any contractions that can be talked through! (ha ha! As if! I defy any pregnant woman close to her due date to get through runs of contractions without getting her hopes up!). Oh gosh! It’s all going too fast - must get wrapping Christmas presents - hope DH remembers to bring home some wrapping paper tonight. And must remember to ask mum if she’s got round to washing the baby clothes yet - I feel like I ought to have them ready in their drawers soon - and if she’s managed to get any of the extra baby-gros and vests we needed. Anyone got any nice knitted baby cardigans and bootees going begging? I seem to remember Mopsy wearing heaps of them when she was a winter newborn, yet you can’t buy them anywhere for some reason - probably not ‘fashionable’ enough at the moment. I wonder if I’ll be able to knit something myself before the baby comes…eek…overwhelming nesting urge coming on…must look for newborn knitting patterns asap! Oh my goodness - I just can’t wait to cuddle a tiny little newborn again! Especially that first moment when I hold it the second it’s born - all slippery and warm and incredible and beautiful and…hold on…need a tissue…really hope the girls are awake to see it being born. Flopsy wants to find out the sex for us - she wants a boy but we want another girl as all our baby stuff is girly. It’ll turn out very expensive if we’ve got to replace it all with less flowery/pinky/lacy stuff! I feel a bit like there’s something major I’ve got to get ready that I’ve forgotten to take account of - I’ve got nappies, ordered new wraps, made liners so that’s all ok. Mum’s in charge of clothes so that’s all ok. All the Christmas presents are ordered and we’re just waiting for them to come in the post. DH will get the Christmas box down from the loft with the Advent calendar in on Tuesday - his next day off and last one before Advent starts. We’ve tried out the birthing pool and we know where that’s going and how to fill it etc. We’ve moved the front room round a little so that we know we can move things easily to fit the Christmas tree in. We don’t do very many Christmas cards so that’s one less thing to worry about. Mum hosts Christmas Day each year so don’t have to worry about that. Need to get a stocking for the baby (got the presents) in case he/she comes before Christmas - yes, I know the baby won’t care if he/she gets pressies or not this year, but Flopsy and Mopsy will be very concerned if he/she gets forgotten! Dh needs to get the baby car seat down from the loft when he goes up there next week…and the moses basket. We also need to wash and make up the baby bouncy chair - something I found invaluable with both girls as babies! Should the baby ‘bring’ a present for the girls, I wonder? Must talk to DH about that. Mind you, they’re both so excited about the baby coming (Flopsy says she’s looking forward to the baby more than she’s looking forward to Christmas!) that they probably couldn’t care less about whether or not he/she comes bearing gifts! I still can’t access that niggling thing that I think I’ve forgotten! Hopefully it will come to me soon.
Sorry to anyone who read through that rambling post hoping for something of interest to pop up at some point…sometimes blogging is the best way to get thoughts in order, I find!
On Thursday, it’ll officially be only 8 weeks to go until our baby’s due and I haven’t got anything ready, really! It’s just going too fast - I keep thinking ‘oh I don’t need to sort out baby’s clothes/buy Christmas presents/find Mopsy’s old nappies/think of names yet - it’s ages to go!’ and then suddenly another week’s gone by and I remember all the masses of things I have to have ready for when the baby comes and I get all concerned - for all of five minutes until I forget about it again. Then the next week comes by…and so on! I’m really going to have to start writing lists and making myself deadlines so that I know I’ll get it all done in time for me to have a bit of a rest before the big stuff starts happening.
