That’s how I’d describe myself.  I went to school, did exams, got good GCSEs and mediocre A-Levels.  But most of my education took place at home, within our family.  I can recall relatively little of what I learnt in school ie. what I memorised to pass my exams.  On the other hand, the topics I had an extra-curricular interest in, that I was given the opportunity to explore outside of school, I remember huge amounts about.  The biggest example would be the history of the Tudor period:

We had a video of Anne of the Thousand Days at home.  I watched it over and over and over again.  I loved it.  I wanted to be Anne Boleyn.  I wanted to wear her dresses; curtsey in them.  My Mum used to take us to Hampton Court (when it didn’t cost an arm and a leg to get in!) very frequently; we sometimes travelled up to see the Tower of London.  I remember having a Choose Your Own Adventure book (remember those?) about the Tudor period that I read over and over again.  I learnt the order of Henry VIII’s wives and what became of them.  All this I learnt outside of school.  I started (but didn’t continue) collecting a children’s history magazine series that came with a cassette recording about two children who travelled back in time.  I remember the salient parts of Elizabeth I’s speech during the time of the Spanish Armada because of listening to that tape.  As I grew older, my Mum introduced me to the Jean Plaidy books, which I also devoured.  I fell in love with the whole idea of Tudor times, but mostly the clothes the gentry wore, the beautiful, flowing gowns and headdresses.  While I was at university, I used my spare time looking at websites about Tudor history and about Tudor costumes - the idea of wearing Tudor clothes was something that had always excited me.  From the internet, and from friends I made via the internet (some of whom have been attending Kentwell for years), I taught myself the skills I needed to create an intire gentry-woman’s Tudor gown from scratch.  Totally authentically (except for machine sewing!) - I even made a smock and a corset.  It wasn’t perfect, but it was beautiful to me - and I could wear it! 

I’m digressing slightly from my original topic.  The point is that I learnt all this because my Mum educated us at home, even though she sent us to school.  She took an interest in our lives; she took our interests seriously; she took us to places we were interested in; read to us; played with us; conversed with us; bought us things she thought we’d find interesting.  I don’t think I was harmed by being in school but I do think it was a complete waste of time.  My Mum is wonderful and amazing and I am not criticising her in anyway when I say that, when you think what I learnt about just one of the things I was interested in during the time I wasn’t in school, just think what I might have achieved if I hadn’t had to attend school at all!  I didn’t meet my Dh at school.  I’ve been out of nursing for too long to get a job without doing a return to practice course - a course that is running hardly anywhere in the country because we have (get this!!) too many nurses - so my degree is pretty useless.  I’ve forgotten most of what I learnt at A-Level (physics, French and German), although I guess I’d pick up the languages quickly again if I had to - still, I suppose I’d learn them pretty quickly from scratch if I had to anyway!  I didn’t need any exams to do my diploma.  The job I’m doing now I could have done whether or not I’d done any of the exams I’ve done in my life and I’m loving it.  It’s not a living, but I don’t have time to earn a living - my current career is child-rearing.  I won’t go into detail about my Dh’s life but he would have quite easily managed without going to school as well and is in a good career with good pay and good prospects and didn’t need any of his qualifications to do it.  His passions are bass guitar; triathlon; juggling/poi etc. - none of which he learnt in school.

I don’t intend to waste any of my children’s childhood by making them spend it in classrooms.  If they spent the whole school day just playing or watching tv they could easily be just as ok as I am.  If they spend it following up interests and being part of life, then they’ll be much better off than I am.  So, am I worried about HE not being the right choice?  No.  From what I’ve read, the conversations I’ve had with adults about their time in school, my own experience, and the experiences of other parents with schooled and HE’d children, I think that, if parents are engaged with their children, enjoy being around them and providing opportunities to discover new interests and follow up old ones, school can be summed up as being, at worst, harmful and at best, a waste of time.

Edited to clarify:  I don’t think that HE will mean the children don’t waste time…I also don’t mean that they would learn nothing in school.  What I mean is that if HE children did nothing at all for 6 hours every day, 5 days a week, they may well not be any worse off than most schooled children and that there is little they can learn in school that they wouldn’t learn more easily at home…from my own experience

I did my response to the proposed home education guidelines.  The Freedom for Children to Grow website has more details and information about the guidelines and how to respond.  I was respondent number 144.  If you feel anything about the rights of parents to home educate their children the way they see fit, please respond to this consultation.  The deadline is the end of this month (July 31).

The natural learning processes of babies and children is of endless fascination to me.  Observing it makes me more and more keen on autonomous education and I feel very certain that we will continue our parenting philosophy of being led by our off-spring forever

Cotton-tail is currently learning how to eat solid foods.  As regular readers of this blog will know, we unintentionally did ‘baby-led weaning’ with Flopsy (she refused anything off a spoon except yoghurt) and, having learnt more about it, did it on purpose with Mopsy.  Cotton-tail is now 6.5 months and has been joining us at the table in her tripp trapp high-chair (no tray) for a few weeks (of course she’s been with us at mealtimes since she was born, but usually sleeping in someone’s arms or wriggling on someone’s lap).  She is learning to eat in this way:

1. Learning how to pick up food, and, more specifically, learning how to pick up different types of food.  She loves it that cucumber slides around and feels cold but that potato mashes up in her hand

2. Then she has learnt how to get it into her mouth.  Her hand control has developed enough for her to make sure she picks the food up in such a way that there is enough food ‘visible’ to get some into her mouth.  She is also starting to learn how to put food from one hand into another to make it more accessible.

3. Next she is learning how to bite pieces off what she’s got in her hand - a very pleasing experience, particuarly when every food does different things: Brocolli kind of breaks up into tiny little pieces which feel very interesting in her mouth; pasta feels slippery

4. Her current plan is to master the art of moving food around in her mouth with her tongue.  Lots of gagging involved in this phase; and spitting food out onto the table, but she’s getting there.

5. The next thing she has to learn is how to mash the food up so it’s easy to swallow.  We’re beginning to see less food on the floor after mealtimes so I’m guessing she’s doing this a little already.  Her poos have yet to change, though, so she’s obviously not doing it very much!

The theory suggests that all this falls into place at about the same time her gut is ready to digest it all effectively and safely, when it’s less permeable to allergens and bacteria.  I don’t need to worry about her lacking in nutrients due to the lack of solid food intake because she’s still breastfed on demand.  If she’s anything like her sisters, by the time she gets to 8 or 9 months she’ll be eating food like her Daddy (albeit a bit messier!).

 Mopsy is currently learning how to settle herself in the night.  Flopsy is the only one of our babies to experience any sleep-training and that only consisted of a grand total of two minutes controlled crying and a week’s worth of patting/rocking to sleep at 5 months old in the misguided belief that it was bad for her to learn to fall asleep at the breast.  When we stopped all that nonsense, life got much easier and, miraculously, Flopsy has been falling asleep without breastfeeding for at least 18 months and sleeping right through the night most nights; only needing a loo visit and a cuddle to settle if she does wake. 

Mopsy is doing exactly what Flopsy did.  Breastfeeding no longer gets her to sleep. It does switch her mind off and start the process, but the action of suckling now keeps her from falling fast asleep most of the time.  So we feed, and then she rolls over and falls asleep herself while I cuddle her (when evenings work out well, that’s what happens - I won’t go into that whole thing now, though!).  Most of the time when she wakes in the night (two or three times), she now rolls over mumbling a half-hearted request for a breastfeed (yak yak, she calls it) but falls asleep before I get to feed her. 

The next step will be settling before she even asks for milk.  However we’ve upset the process a bit now by decorating their room for them and pushing the two single beds together.  They now both want to sleep in there, which is lovely for them.  And it’s very pleasing to me to note that when Mopsy does wake, she doesn’t cry for me - she’s not scared of not sleeping next to me - she just calls ‘Mummy’ and me or DH go and get her and bring her back into our bed where she settles very quickly.  It does mean that she’s woken up more than she would if she were stirring next to me so she does need feeding to get back to sleep. 

When Flopsy did this, it was the start of the weaning process…maybe I’ll start thinking about weaning Mopsy but I don’t really feel like I want to like I did when Flopsy was this age.  Mopsy is much happier than Flopsy was to have feeds that last a few seconds (more a cursory checking in with me, than an actual need to feed); and she doesn’t ask as much as Flopsy did.  We’ll just see how it goes for now.

Flopsy is currently having a ‘learning to read’ phase.  She’s had lots of these during her life so far.  The early ones were things like a desire to learn her letters; or wanting to sit with me with a book and tell me her own version of the story; or asking me to point out the words in whatever book I’m reading and tell her what they say.  At the moment she’s bringing books to us and asking us to read the words with her.  Her favourite book ever is one she discovered a couple of years ago at the back of a bookcase.  It’s called Daily Light and is a collection of Bible readings - one for every day of the year.  Now no one could describe us as devoted Christians, but I’ve been brought up a Christian and my Grandparents would love it if we went to church regularly and read the Bible.  They gave me this book when I was 15.  It’s small - about 8cm wide; 13cm tall and 2cm thick and Flopsy has fallen in love with it.  It has proper thin pages like a Bible has, which I think appeals to her.  We’ve never read to her from it, so she has no idea what it says (I think!), but she loves it - ‘reads’ it when we’re reading our books in the evening etc.  At the moment she often brings it to me asking me what the words say - she doesn’t want me to read it to her, but wants me to point to the words and if she knows them she reads them and if she doesn’t, I do. 

She’s also very keen on reading one of the bedtime stories they choose every night and that’s really enjoyable.  We have a collection of Puddle Lane books - mostly bought from car boot sales to satisify my nostalgia! - and she is also really enjoying reading those with me.  I read the adult’s side of the page; then she reads the child’s side; then she gets bored and wants me to read it all. 

These reading bouts take place randomly during the day and very frequently happen at 10pm when we’re reading in bed before going to sleep.  Another reason to be glad she won’t be going to school - she can learn to read in her own time and whenever and whatever she likes

PS.  All three girls are also learning heaps of other things all the time, of course, but these things seem to be what they’re focussing on at the moment. 

As I think the girls have wrecked the kitchen floor!  It’s now a lovely multi-coloured pattern thanks to the great fun we had doing this activity from Doodle-Do on CBeebies.  Flopys has been talking about doing it for a while, so this afternoon we went for it and they stayed totally engrossed in it for a whole hour!  Pretty impressive for a 2 year old and a nearly 4 year old.  Must remember that activity for the future.  They produced some fab art which I’ve neglected to take photos of…but I do think that the process was way more important than the product in this case anyway

We’ve also heard that our mortgage offer has come through, so that’s the money sorted out.  Just waiting for the solicitor to do the searches now…shouldn’t be much longer we hope.

Forgot to blog that on Wednesday we went to a new (to us) HE group which we all loved.  Flopsy and Mopsy fell head over heels in love with a little dog, which they played with most of the afternoon.  I knew a couple of the families there in real life and one or two from the internet and can’t wait to go to the next meet there.

Well I am pleased to report that both Flopsy and Mopsy are proving extremely capable of self-regulating their tv-time.  They have gone from watching it nearly constantly for a couple of days, to watching a video, then coming down to play, then watching another video and so on, to watching it only when life is boring ie. not much going on during the day.  They haven’t made it downstairs yet (10.40am), but then Flopsy only woke up an hour ago and Mopsy only woke up half an hour ago!  They’re watching Postman Pat or something, but they had such a fun time outside in the paddling pool yesterday that I’m anticipating another day in the sunshine when the garden warms up a bit.  I’ve made them some ice-lollies for later, so they’ll enjoy those. 

A very kind friend of Mum’s has handed down two girls’ bikes with stabilisers to Flopsy and Mopsy so yesterday we went to buy them helmets.  Thank goodness I was so insistent that they don’t even have a little go on them until they had helmets - Mopsy was only on her bike for about five minutes before she rode down a little slope and came off it.  She’s bruised her cheek, cut herself somewhere in her mouth as it was bleeding, bruised her knee and grazed her knuckles.  It’s all very superficial, but if she hadn’t had her helmet on she would have hit her head very hard and we would have had a trip to A&E!  It’s the one time I hate being a Mum when you watch one of your babies hurt themselves potentially very badly and you’re powerless to stop it .  Still, thank goodness for breastfeeding!  It calmed her very quickly and, of course, stopped the bleeding in the mouth nearly instantly so we could see there was no tooth damage or anything.  Flopsy’s too scared to get on the bike at all because it wobbles, being a proper bike with stabilisers - true to form it’s Mopsy who just goes for it and Flopsy who holds back!

I’ve been thinking about this total autonomy malarky and I have these positive things our family have noticed over the last week:  For Cotton-tail, Flopsy and Mopsy watching tv means more time for her with me - something Mopsy didn’t get as a baby; I’m less stressed for a few reasons; partly because I’m working with the girls instead of against them; partly because the ‘electronic babysitter’ allows me to keep the house in a nicer state and gives me a break from entertaining them which then means I’m in a better state of mind for some better quality ‘entertaining’ when they’re not watching tv; of course me being less stressed means that all three get a better Mummy; the girls are both learning lots of songs and dances as most of the videos they choose to watch are things like Fun Song Factory and they both join in so it’s certainly not a passive activity all the time; the tv also informs their imaginative play and they often come out with ‘evidence’ of learning that they must have got from the tv; I’m having to do less washing as they’re wearing fewer clothes (I’m trying to get less hung-up on getting them to do things just because it’s socially conventional!) - in fact…message for Mum - don’t worry about getting them any more summer clothes for the moment…I’m anticipating much near-nakedness this summer and therefore clothing quota will not need to be so high as in winter!; also, we’re getting more lie-ins as the girls are staying up until they fall asleep where they stand, or ask to be taken to bed, which is usually quite late, so they’re sleeping late in the mornings - always a good thing in my eyes

House: Well we didn’t get the co-op mortgage but only because of guarantor problems.  We’ve since engaged the services of a mortgage broker who came to gather information on Thursday and rang me on Friday to say that he’ll definitely be able to get us a mortgage on our income without a gurantor and we’re just waiting for Tuesday or Wednesday next week for a letter with a choice of mortgages.  So it looks like we will be able to buy the house for definite.  I’m a bit nervous of the next step though…making an offer…and finding a conveyancer…it all seems much too grown up for me!

Ok, I think it’s very clear that there are a lot of children for whom HE would not be the best option bearing in mind their parents.  However, I find this is the case for more and more people as I realise how most adults view children :-(  I’ve just read a thread on a parenting forum started by a mum asking for an answer for a question her child had asked her.  THREE of the replies started with disparaging remarks about how the child ‘needed to get out more’ or ‘had nothing better to do’ because he asked a question about something he was interested in :-(  The mother just laughed (well, did a laugh smiley!) and replied that she agreed he ‘needed to get out more’ :-(  Fair enough being too tired out to answer every question fired at you by an eager to learn young child, but thinking they’re strange for asking the questions?  And joking about it?  Forget the damage done by schooling - no wonder so many children lose their interest in learning if the primary adults in their lives that sort of attitude.

We’re back from our holiday.  We had a lovely time and I will post photos soon.

While we were away, I took the opportunity to read Doing It Their Way again as I have been feeling like we’ve been drifting away from the autonomous lifestyle we want.  It’s made me confront the biggest issue for us which is Flopsy’s worship of the tv.  She asks to put it on, then watches it for a long time, then eventually comes downstairs for a break of an hour or so, then watches it again.  All this time I am displaying my reluctance to let her as I can’t get away from the idea that it is bad for her.  This feeling is despite the fact she shows she’s learning loads from it (and who cares if she isn’t!) and it sparks a lot of imaginative play, rather than dampening it as seems to be one of the concerns of tv-dislikers.  We have decided (after discussing with other autonomous families) that my random limits (ie. depending on how I’m feeling when Flopsy asks to watch it) and my obvious dislike of it could be causing her to ‘binge’ on it more than she would under normal circumstances.  Therefore we are going to aim for total non-coercion in our house for a couple of weeks and see what happens.  If we are still concerned at the level of tv-watching going on, we will discuss with Flopsy why we are concerned and see if we can come to an agreement that suits us all about how much tv and when etc.  I think I will also try to ‘chart’ our progress on this blog and will attempt, for a week at least, to document each day as they happen!  I’ll start with yesterday (as we haven’t really had much of today yet!).

It’s too far!  I just got my head around the idea of camping with three littlies and thinking I could possibly do it, knowing that many of the lovely people from the Early Years HE list would be there, and also from the Early Years HE blogring and then I did a route finder on RAC.  I just don’t think I have it in me to drive for 5.5hours, then camp with two young children and a baby, then drive 5.5hours again.  I’m really disappointed.  Maybe I’ll just have to organise my own camp over our side of the country!  Who’ll join me? 

We haven’t heard from our LA about Flopsy going to school…other families in our area with children her age have done.  Maybe we won’t have to deal with pressure to be inspected by LA officials - something I’m getting very nervous about as we get nearer and nearer to this September, when most children Flopsy’s age would be starting school (although it’s not compulsory until September 2008).  I’ve been burying my head in the sand about the current HE situation in the UK, and locally, but I think I’m going to have to spend this evening reading all the recent emails on the subject on our local HE email list so that I do actually know what’s going on.  I am also reading wonderful blogs like Sometimes It’s Peaceful and Dare To Know - people writing about autonomous learning and how it works with the LA, just in case we do get ‘found out’!  I don’t want to have to take this so seriously, but I think I ought to now.  I also don’t really understand why I’m feeling so nervous as time goes on…we’ve been planning to HE since before she was born, and now I keep questioning whether or not we’re doing the right thing…are we just doing it for us?  To continue our non-mainstream way of life?  Are be being selfish by not sending her to school?  I know all the reasons I don’t want her to go but I’m still nervous about it…am I the only one?  I guess I’m particularly nervous about having contact with our LA, but maybe that won’t happen for a while.  I think I need to start going to more HE meets to build my confidence a bit more.

I can’t begin to say how angry this makes me feel.  Childcare workers will, like teachers, soon become so busy filling in forms to check up on their babies’ learning that they won’t have time to play with them.  Where’s the fun in childhood nowadays?  It seems that the single most important of childhood now is to memorise a whole heap of things that someone has decided you ought to know.  Once you’ve done that, then you can get on with enjoying yourself.  Trouble is, there’s so much to memorise you don’t have time for playing.  And, as I showed in my last post, if you don’t make sure you do the memorising before you do the playing, you get punished and are allowed to do even less playing :-(.  I am so determined that my children don’t get into this school system where evidence of their work (not their learning) is more important than they are.  And now they’ve decided to extend this nonsense into babyhood.  It’s all so wrong.