Comments on: Tap water running but we can’t drink it… http://playingitbyear.homeschooljournal.net/2007/08/02/tap-water-running-but-we-cant-drink-it/ Flopsy 4y, Mopsy 2.5y, Cotton-tail 7m Fri, 09 Jan 2009 11:46:54 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=wordpress-mu-1.2.4 By: playingitbyear http://playingitbyear.homeschooljournal.net/2007/08/02/tap-water-running-but-we-cant-drink-it/#comment-5248 playingitbyear Sat, 04 Aug 2007 01:56:03 +0000 http://playingitbyear.homeschooljournal.net/2007/08/02/tap-water-running-but-we-cant-drink-it/#comment-5248 LOL - must have been! I've only just read your comment and it's quite a few hours since I edited it! :-) Clare x LOL - must have been! I’ve only just read your comment and it’s quite a few hours since I edited it! :-)

Clare
x

]]> By: jax http://playingitbyear.homeschooljournal.net/2007/08/02/tap-water-running-but-we-cant-drink-it/#comment-5241 jax Fri, 03 Aug 2007 19:27:59 +0000 http://playingitbyear.homeschooljournal.net/2007/08/02/tap-water-running-but-we-cant-drink-it/#comment-5241 yeek - were you editing that as I was commenting??? yeek - were you editing that as I was commenting???

]]> By: jax http://playingitbyear.homeschooljournal.net/2007/08/02/tap-water-running-but-we-cant-drink-it/#comment-5240 jax Fri, 03 Aug 2007 19:26:54 +0000 http://playingitbyear.homeschooljournal.net/2007/08/02/tap-water-running-but-we-cant-drink-it/#comment-5240 I have and would pick my children up and take them elsewhere because I cannot cope with being humiliated myself by the comments and looks from other passersby. I don't see this as a failure, should I? If tantrums happen at home, I might remove the child, or I might remove myself, once the tantrum is over, then we'll talk about how we could have handled the situation better. Guess this is another reason why I'm just not TCS or particularly AP, but I'm a world away from the parents I had who would have stopped a tantrum with a quick backhander, so I view my way as an improvement from what sometimes I do admit to longing to do - it seems sometimes that it would be so much easier although of course objectively I know it doesn't actually work, let alone being a less than loving way to deal with your offspring. I have and would pick my children up and take them elsewhere because I cannot cope with being humiliated myself by the comments and looks from other passersby. I don’t see this as a failure, should I? If tantrums happen at home, I might remove the child, or I might remove myself, once the tantrum is over, then we’ll talk about how we could have handled the situation better.

Guess this is another reason why I’m just not TCS or particularly AP, but I’m a world away from the parents I had who would have stopped a tantrum with a quick backhander, so I view my way as an improvement from what sometimes I do admit to longing to do - it seems sometimes that it would be so much easier although of course objectively I know it doesn’t actually work, let alone being a less than loving way to deal with your offspring.

]]> By: Gill http://playingitbyear.homeschooljournal.net/2007/08/02/tap-water-running-but-we-cant-drink-it/#comment-5227 Gill Fri, 03 Aug 2007 07:51:14 +0000 http://playingitbyear.homeschooljournal.net/2007/08/02/tap-water-running-but-we-cant-drink-it/#comment-5227 Gah. I <i>can</i> spell yield, honest! :oops: Gah. I can spell yield, honest! :oops:

]]> By: Gill http://playingitbyear.homeschooljournal.net/2007/08/02/tap-water-running-but-we-cant-drink-it/#comment-5226 Gill Fri, 03 Aug 2007 07:50:36 +0000 http://playingitbyear.homeschooljournal.net/2007/08/02/tap-water-running-but-we-cant-drink-it/#comment-5226 Lyddie had a tantrum in the supermarket yesterday because I wouldn't spend £20 (£20!) on a computer game she wanted. I kept explaining that we couldn't afford to buy the food we needed if we got the computer game, but her reasoning brain had switched off, because she's only 4. I did hug her to comfort her, but for once I couldn't yeild to what she wanted. Some of the other shoppers looked alarmed and I could tell some of them wondered if she was being treated unfairly. Because of this I had to keep saying, quite loudly: "We can't afford our food if I buy the game you want." I still think some of them weren't convinced. Sometimes, as mothers, 'society' deems us <i>bad</i>, whatever we do. And I'm in my late 30s, with 5 children. I remember being in my early 20s, with my first and feeling absolutely dreadful in such situations. But no, I never laughed at them or took pics (!) or picked them up and took them elsewhere. Oh wait, I may have done that last one once or twice, but only when I had to - i.e., we were being asked to leave or something. I hope you get your water back soon! Lyddie had a tantrum in the supermarket yesterday because I wouldn’t spend £20 (£20!) on a computer game she wanted. I kept explaining that we couldn’t afford to buy the food we needed if we got the computer game, but her reasoning brain had switched off, because she’s only 4. I did hug her to comfort her, but for once I couldn’t yeild to what she wanted. Some of the other shoppers looked alarmed and I could tell some of them wondered if she was being treated unfairly. Because of this I had to keep saying, quite loudly: “We can’t afford our food if I buy the game you want.” I still think some of them weren’t convinced. Sometimes, as mothers, ’society’ deems us bad, whatever we do.

And I’m in my late 30s, with 5 children. I remember being in my early 20s, with my first and feeling absolutely dreadful in such situations. But no, I never laughed at them or took pics (!) or picked them up and took them elsewhere. Oh wait, I may have done that last one once or twice, but only when I had to - i.e., we were being asked to leave or something.

I hope you get your water back soon!

]]> By: learningumbrella http://playingitbyear.homeschooljournal.net/2007/08/02/tap-water-running-but-we-cant-drink-it/#comment-5224 learningumbrella Thu, 02 Aug 2007 23:24:18 +0000 http://playingitbyear.homeschooljournal.net/2007/08/02/tap-water-running-but-we-cant-drink-it/#comment-5224 That is horrible! I think humiliation may even be WORSE than a calm smack - not that I advocate smacking either! The bottom line for me is to never do anything that is manipulative or dishonest. If I can't handle their tantrum calmly, I make an "I statement" about how I feel and leave if possible. And if I also "lose it", I try to be honest about why that happened and how I'm sorry I couldn't stay totally calm. But to actually LAUGH at a child under those circumstances is so immature and mean! And if it's fake laughing, it's showing a lack of honest communication. Ugh. That is horrible! I think humiliation may even be WORSE than a calm smack - not that I advocate smacking either!

The bottom line for me is to never do anything that is manipulative or dishonest. If I can’t handle their tantrum calmly, I make an “I statement” about how I feel and leave if possible. And if I also “lose it”, I try to be honest about why that happened and how I’m sorry I couldn’t stay totally calm. But to actually LAUGH at a child under those circumstances is so immature and mean! And if it’s fake laughing, it’s showing a lack of honest communication. Ugh.

]]> By: Liz in Australia http://playingitbyear.homeschooljournal.net/2007/08/02/tap-water-running-but-we-cant-drink-it/#comment-5223 Liz in Australia Thu, 02 Aug 2007 23:09:31 +0000 http://playingitbyear.homeschooljournal.net/2007/08/02/tap-water-running-but-we-cant-drink-it/#comment-5223 Eeuuww. I am not surprised your blood started boiling. I can't hang out on non-AP parenting boards for precisely that reason... I like my radical tribe! My 2yo only rarely chucks tantrums but they are becoming more impressive when she does. Provided I'm in a happy mummy space at the time (which does mostly happen) I just reflect and validate and let her work it out. The rest of the time I tend to slam out of the room swearing, which I don't consider as much of a parenting failure as I did before reading that woman's take on what she does as a matter of <i>policy</i>... Yuck. Eeuuww. I am not surprised your blood started boiling. I can’t hang out on non-AP parenting boards for precisely that reason… I like my radical tribe!

My 2yo only rarely chucks tantrums but they are becoming more impressive when she does. Provided I’m in a happy mummy space at the time (which does mostly happen) I just reflect and validate and let her work it out. The rest of the time I tend to slam out of the room swearing, which I don’t consider as much of a parenting failure as I did before reading that woman’s take on what she does as a matter of policy… Yuck.

]]> By: Claire http://playingitbyear.homeschooljournal.net/2007/08/02/tap-water-running-but-we-cant-drink-it/#comment-5221 Claire Thu, 02 Aug 2007 19:53:57 +0000 http://playingitbyear.homeschooljournal.net/2007/08/02/tap-water-running-but-we-cant-drink-it/#comment-5221 “just laugh at him and humiliate him” That is just awful! I have to say I'm struggling with Miles at the moment and he's not even two yet but hopefully I won't ever resort to anythng like that - how damaging! Hermione never had tantrums so I feel totally inexperienced in this respect. I just try to ease his frustrations and reassure him that I'm there for him - and hope that it passes quickly. I sometimes wish they did come with instructions :-) Written by someone with simialr parenting views of course :-) I hope you get your water sorted soon. “just laugh at him and humiliate him”

That is just awful! I have to say I’m struggling with Miles at the moment and he’s not even two yet but hopefully I won’t ever resort to anythng like that - how damaging!

Hermione never had tantrums so I feel totally inexperienced in this respect. I just try to ease his frustrations and reassure him that I’m there for him - and hope that it passes quickly. I sometimes wish they did come with instructions :-) Written by someone with simialr parenting views of course :-)

I hope you get your water sorted soon.

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