DH and I just before leaving for his work party only four days before Cotton-tail was born.

Cotton-tail’s first photo.  DH and I are both looking at Flopsy and Mopsy. 

Flopsy with her new sister.

Mopsy with Cotton-tail.

A tired but ecstatic Mummy. 

Flopsy and Mopsy opening their presents ‘from’ Cotton-tail.

‘Teddy-wearing’ using the slings Cotton-tail ‘brought’ for her big sisters.

Meeting Grandma and Grandad.

Nurse Flopsy and Dr Mopsy on Christmas Day.

A desperately proud Daddy with his three daughters.

This is what I wrote just after lunch on Tuesday 19th December:

Don’t know how often I’ll feel like posting, but have had contractions since last night, hurting my back when lying down.  Managed to get some sleep in the night but of course, being excited and hopeful, found it quite hard!  The contractions have continued into the morning, now about every 10 minutes or so - still irregular but getting more painful.  MW has been here for the last couple of hours and is off out now for a bit - she says that if things go off the boil, she suggests a sweep to get things started again, rather than waiting for labour to start all over again.  I kind of feel the same way so am happy with that.  Other than that she’s very hands off so is happy for no VEs unless I want them etc.  DH is back from work now and Mum is on her way so after DH has changed out of his suit (not exactly good clothing for a birth!) we’ll start getting the house ready for labour.  I’m still only niggling, now, though, so don’t expect any birth announcements just yet - I’m thinking of middle of the night kind of time - hope Flopsy gets to see it as she really wants to!  I’m feeling very excited and a bit disbelieving after all this time that it is actually it (and it’s not even the due date yet!) but have got to that point that I’m relishing the pain!  What a saddo!

Soon after writing this, we had to admit that my disbelief was justified - my FIL arrived with the most beautiful blanket that my MIL had been crocheting for Cotton-tail for the last six months.  Soon after his arrival my contractions became much further apart and had stopped completely by the time he left.  I felt devastated - I couldn’t believe that what had been strengthening contractions that morning, causing me to drag Mum and DH home from work, had all gone and it was just a disconcertingly strong case of false labour.   

Nevertheless, we bore in mind the MW’s offer of a membrane sweep if things went off the boil and cleaned the kitchen (where the pool was going to be) and put the birth pool up anyway, so that we could start filling it.  After the MW left, DH and I decided to go for a walk to see if we could get the contractions to start again.  We walked for about 45 minutes, which made my pelvis ache like mad, but I did have a few contractions while we were out, which cheered me up a little - I must have looked rather strange, though, as I knew the best way to get the best out of contractions was to march through them!  Still, once we got back home at about 4ish, they were still pretty feeble contractions.  The MW returned about half an hour later and we decided to have a VE and a sweep.  I was delighted to hear that I was 4-5cm dilated, despite the apparent uselessness of the contractions.  So we decided to take some homeopathic remedies, and get marching round the house.  I discovered that a corner of the kitchen felt very cosy and snug to me, so I cleared a space on the surface there, and laid out my candles that my friends had brought for me for my Mother Blessing, the stones they painted for me and my birthing necklace.  We turned the lights off, put my ball and a pillow in my corner and lit the candles.  The contractions were starting to gather strength again, but were still very irregular.  I realised that squatting really helped the pain in my back and knew that that position would help Cotton-tail’s head to press on my cervix during each contraction so was pleased that it was what felt so instinctively right to do.  I also spent some time pacing around the living room and marching up and down the stairs.  However, it all still felt far too easy…I was in pain, but not enough pain.  The contractions were very easy to cope with, particularly using yoga breathing and squatting. 

It then came time for the girls to go to bed.  I think Mum read Mopsy to sleep, but Flopsy really wanted me to get her to sleep so I decided that the yoga breathing I’d been doing could probably get me through any contractions I had while she dozed off and I felt I could probably benefit from lying down for a bit.  When she was asleep, I came down again only to hear her waking up five minutes later.  DH went up to help her settle again, and Mum helped me through the contractions I had while he was upstairs.  When he came down again, I decided I wanted to get in the pool, which my MW wholeheartedly agreed with - she really wanted me to just do what I felt was right at the time, and certainly didn’t start talking about doing any more VEs first, which a lot of MWs would have done.  She called the second MW incase the pool sped my labour up suddenly.

The pool was blissful for the first few minutes, then I suddenly felt inexplicably terrified.  My contractions stopped again, and I couldn’t stop myself feeling desperately frightened - I thought I was probably associating the environment with that of Mopsy’s birth, where I’d been in the pool, in a darkened room but in much less pleasant circumstances.  I never wrote a birth story for Mopsy’s birth.  I may do one day, but, despite it being a safe birth, it certainly wasn’t the positive experience I’d had with Flopsy and I think it was that that was making me feel so frightened when I got in the pool this time round.  DH gave me a homeopathic remedy for fear in labour, and I gradually started to feel less fearful, but then started crying about what a negative experience Mopsy’s start in life had been, not just her birth but the nightmarish days following it, and the months of constant crying after that.  I know I need to spend some time reflecting on Mopsy’s first year, but during labour was not the time to be doing it!  After only half an hour in the pool, I decided to get out and meet the second midwife (whenever DH and I were in the ‘birth room’, Mum and the MW were in the living room next door chatting quietly).  I marched around the room for a while, complaining about how boring it was, and apologising for wasting everyone’s time.  Eventually I decided to have another VE - I think it was about midnight at this time.  Unbelievably, I had not dilated any further at all.  I felt totally desolate.  The MW then suggested she break my waters.  I then felt even more desolate…had it really come to this?  I said to her that I really didn’t feel comfortable with that at all…I was concerned about the sudden increase in the intensity of the contractions, in fact I was very frightened of it.  She told me it would get more painful quickly, but that it would be over more quickly too.  I asked her if I could think about it and talk to DH about it - she agreed (well, she didn’t have much choice, and in fact she was only offering it out of concern for me being too fatigued to enjoy our new baby if labour continued in the same way) and DH and I went upstairs for me to have a wee and a weep about the prospect of having my waters artificially broken when the most intervention I had ever had in any birth was a bit of a membrane sweep!  We made a plan and went downstairs to talk it over with the MW… 

Flopsy now wants me to get her to bed, so this seems like a good time to stop for now - I’ll write some more when I get the chance!  Oh yes, and the photos are now on the computer, so at some point I’ll upload them here too.

Tagged by Carlotta, although this may not be as long as hers as I want to go upstairs and feed Cotton-tail in front of the tv while DH reads Mopsy to sleep!

1. Bit obvious this one:  Cotton-tail’s arrival!  In fact, along with Flopsy and Mopsy’s arrivals, one of the three best things ever to have happened in my entire life

2. Qualifying as a BFC - particularly when I had thought I’d have to wait until the new year!

3. Watching the relationship between Flopsy and Mopsy develop into a very beautiful friendship - these sisters very clearly love each other and enjoy each other’s company immensely.

4. Continuing to be loved and cherished by my DH who is a very special man and an exceptional husband and father.

5. Continuing to be loved and cherished by my wonderful parents - without their support our lives would undoubtedly be much, much harder.

6. Enjoying the continuing strengthening of friendships - two in particular - both between myself and my friends, and between our children.

7. Realising just how blessed I am in my life at the moment.

Thank you all for your kind congratulatory messages - I had no idea so many people regularly read my blog!  Things are going wonderfully with Poppy (who will hear-after be known as Cotton-tail - how convenient that she was a girl!) and Flopsy and Mopsy really do adore her, always asking to hold her or coming to give her kisses.  Flopsy even sings to her if I’m not there when she starts crying.

I’m going to try to write a proper birth story, but I know I won’t be able to do it all in one go so it will probably be in several instalments fitted in between other posts.  I’m sure it’s easy to work out that I went into labour quite some time before Cotton-tail was actually born.  The short story was that my contractions remained irregular for about 24 hours, then at 7.30am on 20th, they got regular and stronger very suddenly - Cotton-tail was born 3 hours later.  If my MW had gone on the ’strong, regular contractions’ definition of the first stage of labour, it would have only been 3 hours, but because I was 5cm dilated when she first examined me at lunchtime on the 19th, she had to record that it lasted a whopping SEVENTEEN HOURS!!!!!  My longest labour yet !  However, all of us who were there (Mum, the MW and DH - oh yes, and me!) could quite clearly identify several factors that were holding me back from labouring properly (will go into those later).  Once my body finally gave in and got on with it, it all progressed very normally, quickly and quite dramatically towards the end.  It all went very well - I only got a first degree tear (3rd deg with Flopsy, which had to be stitched under a spinal anaesthetic in hospital, and a 2nd deg with Mopsy, which the MW stitched at home) so no stitches this time - hurrah! 

Cotton-tail is simply gorgeous and wonderful and perfect and DH and I are the happiest we’ve ever been at the moment.  I’ll be posting photos soon - just got to upload them to the computer and, considering that this is the first time I’ve even switched the thing on since I posted that I was in labour, it may be some time before I get round to doing that.  Cotton-tail’s having her first bath tonight - can’t wait!  Once Mopsy is asleep (too stressful to have a little 23m-old involved with that!), Flopsy and I will get in the bath and DH will give us Cotton-tail - Flopsy and I are really excited - it’s so wonderful bathing with a newborn.

This is Clare’s mother and I’m really thrilled to be able to pass on the great news that Poppy Charlotte was born on Wednesday morning, 20th December, at 10.35 a.m. weighing 8lb 6oz.  Clare will no doubt be posting later about the actual birth, but suffice to say that Poppy was born at home in water, as Clare had wanted.  Both Flopsy and Mopsy were there to welcome their new baby sister into the world.

Clare is taking a few days away from the computer, but I will print out and pass on any messages to her.  She is tired, but extremely happy, and all is well with both her and Poppy. 

Happy Christmas from Clare and family!

Don’t know how often I’ll feel like posting, but have had contractions since last night, hurting my back when lying down.  Managed to get some sleep in the night but of course, being excited and hopeful, found it quite hard!  The contractions have continued into the morning, now about every 10 minutes or so - still irregular but getting more painful.  MW has been here for the last couple of hours and is off out now for a bit - she says that if things go off the boil, she suggests a sweep to get things started again, rather than waiting for labour to start all over again.  I kind of feel the same way so am happy with that.  Other than that she’s very hands off so is happy for no VEs unless I want them etc.  DH is back from work now and Mum is on her way so after DH has changed out of his suit (not exactly good clothing for a birth!) we’ll start getting the house ready for labour.  I’m still only niggling, now, though, so don’t expect any birth announcements just yet - I’m thinking of middle of the night kind of time - hope Flopsy gets to see it as she really wants to!  I’m feeling very excited and a bit disbelieving after all this time that it is actually it (and it’s not even the due date yet!) but have got to that point that I’m relishing the pain!  What a saddo!

…but I ain’t in labour yet!  Went to DH’s work do and it was brilliant - so glad I hadn’t had the baby yet.  I wore a plain, but glam, tight black jersey dress and DH said ‘Wow!  You like you did when I first met you’, which was very complimentary but slightly bizarre considering I had his third child pushing the dress out at the front by about two foot!  The meal was delicious, as was my Malibu and Diet Coke (my attempt to relax enough to start labour that night - ha ha ha!).  The chair was just the wrong height, though, as baby is now so low I have to be on quite a high chair to have room for my belly when sitting!

Today…well, I’m exhausted but, despite having bits of ’show’ all yesterday, have had no signs of labour at all today and, having managed to get to last night’s do, was feeling thoroughly fed up and miserable this morning.  Luckily Mum, who babysat, had stayed the night so when DH went off to work, I didn’t have to do anything to look after the girls and lovely Mum spent the afternoon doing all my cleaning so I’ve had a really restful day.  I’m now not feeling quite so fed up as I was this morning.  What’s making me impatient isn’t actually the idea of a long pregnancy (for once!), but the desire to be settled with the baby and a bit recovered by Christmas Day.  It’s ironic that the one pregnancy I feel comfortable in at the end, and the one that I wouldn’t normally mind going on longer than expected, is the one that, were the baby to be a few days late, would be the most inconvenient!  So…right now?  I’m comfortable, as I have felt for a few days now, baby is low, no signs of labour at the moment, getting runs of contractions as I start going to sleep every evening and once I wake up every morning but they no longer really register with me as I know they don’t mean anything.  Need some “baby-out by Wednesday” vibes, I think, as that would give me a good few days to get over the birth and then to find it nice and easy to travel the 45mins to my parents house for a lovely Christmas Day with our family and new addition.  Much later than that and Christmas is going to get more and more complicated!  Of course, the other vibes I could use are “if the baby isn’t out by Wednesday, could it please wait until Boxing Day?” ones LOL!

ps.  You know, it’s all very well and good baby being engaged before labour starts, but I am very, very fed up of having to go to the loo every hour feeling like I’m ready to pee Niagara Falls just to pee a teaspoonfull instead!

Nothing at all of note today.  I’ve felt very comfortable most of the day, just tired, with just a few contractions.  However, again I feel very upbeat and unconcerned that labour might not be on the way for a while yet.  We’ve got DH’s Christmas work do tomorrow night, which I didn’t think I’d make earlier on in the week, but I’m now quite excited about and looking forward to so I don’t think I’ll be at all disappointed if I’m not in labour by tomorrow! 

On a totally different note, I’ve spent last night and today reading mainstream pregnancy/baby magazines.  I bought about a million when I was expecting Flopsy (as you do!), and about three when expecting Mopsy as I remembered how they all say the same things and also all say things that irritate me intensely!  However, I had just finished a trashy novel and didn’t feel like I had the concentration to get started on another one so asked DH to get me the magazines so I had something to read that didn’t require any concentration and were on the subject that is most on my mind at the moment!  There was a big article in one on reflux in babies.  I don’t know why I knew so little about this problem, suffering from it myself since birth (I have a hiatus hernia), but I am now absolutely certain that Mopsy was suffering from this as a small baby.  I put her incessant crying/screaming/back arching down to colic, but I can see now that it could easily have been acid reflux.  Flopsy certainly had reflux, but was only sick a lot, didn’t have any weight issues and didn’t have any pain.  Mopsy was a bit less sick, but certainly had a great deal of pain.  Would I have gone to the dr for medication?  I don’t know, but I think I will bear it in mind if this baby suffers in the same way as our current GP surgery is very anti-unnecessary medication (it’s an anthroposophical/homeopathy practice) and may well have some more natural remedies they could suggest.  I’ll also try cutting out dairy if this baby suffers, as I understand a dairy intolerance can cause acid reflux and there is definitely a history of dairy intolerance in our family.  I’ve often put Flopsy and Mopsy’s sickiness down to dairy in my diet, but for some reason I had never thought to blame it for her crying as well.

All day I’ve had consistently strong contractions every 30-60 minutes, but not as much discomfort bump/buttocks/leg-wise as yesterday.  No contractions for ages now and am feeling pretty comfortable.  Not sure how I feel about this, but I certainly feel a bit irritated that within the space of a few hours, I swing so easily from feeling very labour-ish and believing whole-heartedly that, although it might not be starting properly just yet, it will be starting in just a couple of days to feeling totally normal and that I’ll be pregnant for another two weeks or so yet!  Why can’t bodies/babies be a bit more polite and just let us know when/how and where they’re going to get started?  I wouldn’t mind waiting for a while if that’s what I knew to expect, but expecting things to start soon, and then feeling like it’ll be ages yet is very, very frustrating!  Hope I sleep well again tonight - it’s all I can focus on at the moment - getting enough rest to labour effectively when the time does eventually come!

Well, I officially have only 7 days to go until my due date now.  I had a lovely warm bath last night after supper, which I had to force down, and that completely removed all aches and pains while I was in the water.  My lower-bump pain returned after I got out, but the leg and buttock pain had gone so I was grateful for that.  We decorated the Christmas tree and then went to bed - me with some paracetamol!  A good nights’ sleep all round, thank goodness.  Pain in my bump is much less this morning so I wonder if baby’s moved up a bit again, but it’s still a bit painful so I guess it’s still a little bit engaged.  More of the contractions are uncomfortable now, but infrequent again and some are pretty pathetic.  I feel much more upbeat this morning and much happier at the prospect of potentially another week or more of this going on.  I feel like I have more energy again, but no motivation to get cleaning so nesting has obviously stopped for now.  Let’s see how today goes!