But someone else’s this time…those of our children.  Our children’s instincts should also be listened to and trusted.  They are programmed to try to survive and to become independent and we should trust them when they ‘tell’ us we’re doing something too fast, or too slow, or not the right way.  Example:  Mopsy has always been prone to losing her temper very quickly, but recently it’s been worse than ever - screaming at the top of her voice if something happens that she doesn’t want to happen, or if she can’t work out how to do something she wants to do.  She’s such a lovely, happy, bubbly girl and the downside of having such delightful ‘highs’ is that you get pretty unpleasant (for her as well as for us) ‘downs’.  She’s inherited this trait from me.  Flopsy is more like DH, gently bobbing along just getting on with life.  Anyway, I was chatting to my mum yesterday and saying to her how I knew we must be missing something…there must be something we weren’t doing quite right for Mopsy.  What was she telling us?  After chatting for some time, we wondered whether she’s just not getting enough Mummy-time.  She gets plenty of breastfeeds, but asks for them constantly, none-the-less - another sign she needs more Mummy-time as breastfeeding provides very intense mothering for toddlers.  Lately we’ve been going out most days, or having people over here, to stop us getting cabin fever…have we been doing too much?  Is she telling us to slow down and play a bit more?  Well, we know where we want to go from here, so only time will tell now if what we’ve heard is correct.  Incidentally, I’ve often wondered whether the common (nowadays) complaint of aggressive, hyperactive toddlers, is actually nothing to do with ADHS etc. but more to do with the fact that they’re trying to tell us something is wrong and I think what is wrong for them is that they are finding toddler groups, play groups, nursery school, pre-school etc. just too overwhelming for them.  Yes, they may enjoy it while they’re there, but it’s not biologically, or socially, normal for young children to spend so much time in such large groups of children all the same age, often without their parents present.  Even if they’re verbally saying that they like it, they’re emotionally telling us it is all too much for them.

Edited to add: Suddenly remembered this article from last year that reports on research that shows that preschool-aged children experience high levels of phsyiological stress when they spend large amounts of time in childcare other than at home and that these levels were high whether or not the children displayed outward signs of not enjoying being in childcare.  The other significant point is that these high stress levels continued for quite some time after the childcare had been ended…something that corroborates many HEors reports of their children needing to ‘deschool’ when they’ve been deregistered.  It must not only be about learning to self-regulate your learning, but also about letting the stress hormones & high blood pressure etc. settle before one can get on with the rest of one’s life!