I made myself a mei tai baby carrier the other day, and then a second one when my MIL gave me some Thai silk she’d been given.  The girls were so entranced by the sewing machine and all the sewing paraphernalia that I let them have a go at sewing some patterns on a spare piece of fabric.  They loved it and I suggested they make something, which they very eagerly agreed to.  We decided on bandanas, which I initially thought was a bit daft as hemming is so boring, and that’s all that’s required.  However, to those new to sewing, even boring straight lines of hemming is exciting so, in the end, they loved it.  They helped me pin and then we sewed together, with them controlling the needle and me controlling the fabric.  Flopsy took to an even pedal pressure very quickly but Mopsy took a bit of experimenting before she got the hang of not doing desperately fast or nothing at all!  But by the end she was sewing like a pro!  It was really fun and we all enjoyed it.  I’m thinking of suggesting they make simple bags next, if they express any more interest. 

Today I took photos for a ‘this is what we did today’ post, but when I uploaded them, realised that there were loads of other such similar photos that I’d never blogged.  So here they are!  It looks a bit like ‘look what a wonderful Mummy I am for doing so many activities with my children’ but it really is over a period of time and I’m not about to start taking photos of the times I’m not being such a good Mummy LOL!

Blow-painting, as inspired by Doodle Do (as is a lot of the craft stuff we do - it’s our favourite programme):

Cotton-tail’s first food:

Baking (oh, I am so motherly  ):

This is the girls doing footprint painting a while ago.  It was good fun and I can’t believe I managed to contain the mess, but somehow I did!  The results are on our living room wall :

Jumping for joy at the excitement of being allowed to do something they’d been going on at me about for ever!  (Oh yes, and in pyjamas as well - I think we were having a pyjama day that day)

My preparations for cleaning feet afterwards

Contemplating the paint!

And this is the tea party I discovered them having after I cleaned the kitchen up

Sorry to brag, but my children are seriously gorgeous!  I shall keep the link to this post handy and look at it every time they’re driving me potty to remind me why I love them

That’s how I’d describe myself.  I went to school, did exams, got good GCSEs and mediocre A-Levels.  But most of my education took place at home, within our family.  I can recall relatively little of what I learnt in school ie. what I memorised to pass my exams.  On the other hand, the topics I had an extra-curricular interest in, that I was given the opportunity to explore outside of school, I remember huge amounts about.  The biggest example would be the history of the Tudor period:

We had a video of Anne of the Thousand Days at home.  I watched it over and over and over again.  I loved it.  I wanted to be Anne Boleyn.  I wanted to wear her dresses; curtsey in them.  My Mum used to take us to Hampton Court (when it didn’t cost an arm and a leg to get in!) very frequently; we sometimes travelled up to see the Tower of London.  I remember having a Choose Your Own Adventure book (remember those?) about the Tudor period that I read over and over again.  I learnt the order of Henry VIII’s wives and what became of them.  All this I learnt outside of school.  I started (but didn’t continue) collecting a children’s history magazine series that came with a cassette recording about two children who travelled back in time.  I remember the salient parts of Elizabeth I’s speech during the time of the Spanish Armada because of listening to that tape.  As I grew older, my Mum introduced me to the Jean Plaidy books, which I also devoured.  I fell in love with the whole idea of Tudor times, but mostly the clothes the gentry wore, the beautiful, flowing gowns and headdresses.  While I was at university, I used my spare time looking at websites about Tudor history and about Tudor costumes - the idea of wearing Tudor clothes was something that had always excited me.  From the internet, and from friends I made via the internet (some of whom have been attending Kentwell for years), I taught myself the skills I needed to create an intire gentry-woman’s Tudor gown from scratch.  Totally authentically (except for machine sewing!) - I even made a smock and a corset.  It wasn’t perfect, but it was beautiful to me - and I could wear it! 

I’m digressing slightly from my original topic.  The point is that I learnt all this because my Mum educated us at home, even though she sent us to school.  She took an interest in our lives; she took our interests seriously; she took us to places we were interested in; read to us; played with us; conversed with us; bought us things she thought we’d find interesting.  I don’t think I was harmed by being in school but I do think it was a complete waste of time.  My Mum is wonderful and amazing and I am not criticising her in anyway when I say that, when you think what I learnt about just one of the things I was interested in during the time I wasn’t in school, just think what I might have achieved if I hadn’t had to attend school at all!  I didn’t meet my Dh at school.  I’ve been out of nursing for too long to get a job without doing a return to practice course - a course that is running hardly anywhere in the country because we have (get this!!) too many nurses - so my degree is pretty useless.  I’ve forgotten most of what I learnt at A-Level (physics, French and German), although I guess I’d pick up the languages quickly again if I had to - still, I suppose I’d learn them pretty quickly from scratch if I had to anyway!  I didn’t need any exams to do my diploma.  The job I’m doing now I could have done whether or not I’d done any of the exams I’ve done in my life and I’m loving it.  It’s not a living, but I don’t have time to earn a living - my current career is child-rearing.  I won’t go into detail about my Dh’s life but he would have quite easily managed without going to school as well and is in a good career with good pay and good prospects and didn’t need any of his qualifications to do it.  His passions are bass guitar; triathlon; juggling/poi etc. - none of which he learnt in school.

I don’t intend to waste any of my children’s childhood by making them spend it in classrooms.  If they spent the whole school day just playing or watching tv they could easily be just as ok as I am.  If they spend it following up interests and being part of life, then they’ll be much better off than I am.  So, am I worried about HE not being the right choice?  No.  From what I’ve read, the conversations I’ve had with adults about their time in school, my own experience, and the experiences of other parents with schooled and HE’d children, I think that, if parents are engaged with their children, enjoy being around them and providing opportunities to discover new interests and follow up old ones, school can be summed up as being, at worst, harmful and at best, a waste of time.

Edited to clarify:  I don’t think that HE will mean the children don’t waste time…I also don’t mean that they would learn nothing in school.  What I mean is that if HE children did nothing at all for 6 hours every day, 5 days a week, they may well not be any worse off than most schooled children and that there is little they can learn in school that they wouldn’t learn more easily at home…from my own experience

Jim: “Ok advertising team, let’s see if we can use the fact that Jordan’s formula feeding her baby to get our formula advertised as much as possible.  I think she’s due to do a shoot with OK! magazine.  I’ve got contacts there - let’s start by getting an advert in right next to the article”

Anna: “But we’d be breaking the law if we put in an infant milk advert as it’s in the UK.  At least we can get in a follow-on formula ad - we know from research that most mothers don’t distinguish between follow-on formula and first milk when it comes to advertising.”

Jim: “Is there anything else we could do, I wonder?  Does Jordan use SMA?”

Dan: “Well she will if we send her some free samples!  Let’s do that.”

Susan: “Great idea!  Hang on, don’t you have contacts at OK!, Jim?”

Jim: “Yes - my girlfriend knows someone big on the features team”

Susan: “Do you think she’d be able to get them to help us out a bit?  If we helped them *wink, wink*, if you know what I mean!”

Jim: “I’m sure they would…what were you thinking?”

Susan: “Well, if we got them to photograph Jordan lovingly bottle-feeding her baby, maybe they could make sure that the bottle was a ready-made SMA one - just a bit of subtle product placement.  Then if the follow-on formula ad was on the next page…voila!”

Anna: “That’s a fantastic idea.  And I’m pretty certain it doesn’t break the UK law - highly unethical, but who cares about that?  Jordan unofficially promoting us could really give usa boost in the market.”

Dan: “Let’s hope that somewhere in the article she explains her reason for not breastfeeding - the more people glamourising formula feeding the better for us.  And then all the readers will be automatically pointed to us as a company.”

Jim: “Let’s go for it - product placement in the photos, see if we can get the interviewer to lead Jordan a bit on the baby-feeding issue, and a huge full-page follow-on formula ad right next to the feature.  Well done team!”

*This transcript is purely fictional and simply a guess at how SMA came up with the appallingly unethical formula promotion in the latest OK! Magazine.  It could have happened in many other ways.  Baby Milk Action are asking questions to find out whether Katie Price was involved or even aware, or how involved OK! Magazine were.  See Mike Brady’s blog for more details.*

Now here is a government consultation that I know enough about to be able to produce a more thorough response than I managed for the HE one recently!  The Government are reviewing UK Law on the marketing of breastmilk substitutes.  Please watch this brilliant cartoon to see why this is so important to every mother and baby, not just breastfeeding ones.

The new regulations are not close enough to the World Health Organisation International Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes and, when I get a chance I’ll be recording here, and telling the Government in my response to the consultation, exactly why!

Edited to add:  I can’t get the banner to work as a link to the website so here’s the link itself: http://www.babymilkaction.org/action/savephp/animation_php.html

OK magazine feature on the two of them with their new baby.  Photo of Jordan bottle feeding her little girl.  Peter Andre’s comment:  “Junior didn’t breastfeed and he’s turned out fine.”  A comment oft-heard but one along the same lines as “I never sat in a car seat as a baby and I turned out fine.”  Why do some people find the concept of ’increased risk’ so difficult to understand?  It doesn’t mean ‘if you do a then b will definitely happen’, it means ‘if you do a, then b is more likely to happen’.  Of course the other thing with breastfeeding (and other things one does/eats as a baby/child) is that, while little Junior might be fine now, there are problems he is more likely to encounter in later life.  I hate when I hear the ‘I/he/she turned out fine’ argument for not breastfeeding - it’s so daft!  But hurrah! for Jordan, who is blatantly honest and just says “I don’t want a baby drinking from me. The thought of it makes me feel really funny.  I think only a certain person could handle my knockers.”  Yes, I feel sad that this woman’s life experiences so far have led her to see her breasts in this way, and only in this way, but she is showing that, in a way, she is empowered - she is confident enough to admit she doesn’t want to do it, and won’t feel guilty for her decision because it’s her decision and hasn’t been made for her by circumstances.

I can’t sleep because my gums hurt too much.  They’ve been getting worse and worse gradually for a couple of weeks now.  I also have a crumbling wisdom tooth which is due to be removed on Tuesday.  That’s not hurting right now though…well not in comparison to my sore gums :-(  Off to the pharmacist first thing in the morning to try to get something to help me get through the next few days before my dentist appointment.  Quite convenient that this flares up while I’m still getting my post-baby free dental care, but very unpleasant when I’m trying to fight insomnia as it is!  I know everything feels worse in the middle of the night.  Trying to distract myself by surfing the net but it’s not really working

This is in response to Emma’s recent post.  I hope she doesn’t mind me responding here!  Over the last couple of years, having read more and more about Taking Children Seriously (or whatever you want to call the ethos of respecting your children ;-)), I’ve thought about stopping writing about the children.  However, there are several reasons I still do it.

1. This blog started as a record of my life as a mother and the early part of the lives of my children.  I would absolutely *love* to read a similar record about my childhood.  I’m always asking Mum what I was like/doing/enjoying when I was Flopsy’s/Mopsy’s/Cotton-tail’s age and, although she can remember a little, it would be so wonderful to read about what I and my brother were really like then.  This blog is a record for me, and for my children.

2. I find motherhood exhilarating and exhausting.  It’s hard work, upsetting work, frustrating work but also rewarding, exciting and hugely enjoyable.  The other thing I’m always asking my Mum is ‘did you react like this ever?’; ‘am I normal?’; ‘what was motherhood like for you with young children?’.  If she’d kept diaries and I could read them, I think it would be so interesting and informative.  I also find reading about other mothers’ struggles and reassuring myself that I’m not abnormal very helpful.  Writing this blog honestly is therapeutic for me and, I hope, on occassion helpful to other mothers who read it.

3. I find my children’s achievements and interests fascinating and interesting and I enjoy telling others about them - just as I would share news about my Dh, I like to share news of the other people in my family I love.

The most important thing to make clear, though, is that I very rarely blog about my children without their consent.  Often they ask me to put photos of things they’ve done on here.  They know their grandparents read the blog and that my friends (and some of their friends!) do too.  Of course, there is the odd occasion when I don’t ask their permission because I’m writing about myself; my reactions to something they’ve done.  This is disrespectful and I’m not proud of it, but I feel that it is partly justified by the above two reasons.  If they ever told me explicitly not to, of course I would stop, but I hope that they look back at this when they are mothers and are pleased that I was honest about what life was like for me and for them when they were children.

We’ve had running water for a couple of days now, but we can’t drink it, even if it’s boiled.  So, although we can flush the loo and wash our clothes we still have to go to collect bottled water and fill up our carriers from the bowsers.  Bit of a pain but nothing to really complain about.

What I really wanted to post about was a reply to a post on a parenting forum about toddlers having tantrums.  It’s made me so angry but I can’t reply on the board as I’ll just get shot down in flames, I should think!  She said that if the mother doesn’t stick to her guns, his tantrums will get worse.  She said she used to pick up her child, take him away from wherever he was tantrumming and put them down.  Or she’d “just laugh at him and humiliate him” so he wasn’t getting the reaction he wanted and she’d tell him she was going to “tell his friends how silly he looked and then take a pic”.  All this is justified by the fact that if you don’t “let him know who is boss” he will try to control his mother.  If the mother shows “him she means business now”, no matter how harsh she feels, it will make for a better homelife. 

She didn’t mention that it would also mean a child learning to bury his feelings and emotions because he’s learnt that they are unimportant and ’silly’; a child who can’t trust that his mother will help him to cope with big feelings; a child who might worry for the rest of his life that expressing his emotions will lead to humiliation.  Of all the ways to deal with tantrums, this has to be the worst I’ve ever heard of!  Apart from smacking, of course.

Edited to add:  Just to clarify, it wasn’t the taking the child to a different place that I took issue with (which I actually think is fairly sensible in some circumstances, particularly as I’ve noticed my own children lose their temper, get embarrassed that they’ve done it and that makes them lose it even more!  Taking them somewhere private to help them calm down can really help.), but the deliberate humiliation tactic.  I also am not flaming anyone for heat-of-the-moment reactions to distressing meltdowns - I know more than anyone that mothers often behave in ways they regret when in extreme situations!  It’s the fact that this mother saw nothing wrong in doing this to her child :-(  I do things all the time I *know* are wrong and I instantly regret them and try to change things so that I don’t do it again.  I probably have even laughed at my own children by mistake when they’ve had a tantrum in an amusing way *but* I haven’t done it intentionally to humiliate them and I don’t think it is helpful - in fact I think it’s harmful and I would try not to do it IYSWIM.

On Friday last week, we watched the rain start, and not stop, as we packed up our bags and suitcases ready for leaving for our holiday in Wales on Saturday.  We drove down the M5 and M4 on Saturday morning, stopped at Techniquest in Cardiff over lunch, and got to the house near Cardigan at 4ish.  Turned on the news…apparently the M5 was completely blocked thanks to traffic jams caused by the floods…we’d got through just in time.  Our other piece of luck was that most people were stuck in Cheltenham on Friday evening…Dh works in Cheltenham and we live in Gloucester - if he’d worked on Friday as initially planned, he wouldn’t have got home!  We had a lovely holiday but watched the news in horror.  Our home town flooded, and so did the water treatment plant so the mains water got turned off.  They were handing out packs of bottled water at supermarkets and bowsers were being stationed all over the city.  Thankfully we were still away during the initial panic period - people pushing and shoving to get the bottled water; taking more than their fair share; filling up from bowsers then selling it(!!!); and so on.  We decided to go back to my parents house in a neighbouring county on Friday night instead of returning in the middle of the night to goodness knew what.  We were fairly certain that our house hadn’t flooded being far from streams and rivers and relatively high up, but I wasn’t too keen on being thrown into life with no water and three littlies on my own as Dh had to work on Saturday.  So yesterday we went and bought water carriers and filled them up from my parents’ taps then my parents drove us home; and then my Dad took me to the supermarket for supplies and bottled water.  The panic has now subsided as Gloucester has got used to having no water and still surviving so there was no queue for bottles and they were just handing them out to whoever wanted them - I thought I’d need proof of having three children, but as people weren’t being silly any more they didn’t worry about it.  We picked up four six-packs of 2 litre bottles of Evian.  There was a huge army tanker of water there and the soldiers and police officers were filling up water carriers for people.  You can do a ‘drive thru’ there, so that’s what I’ll be doing over the next week I guess!  I was worried about taking all three on my own to collect water but it seems that it’ll be easy enough.  Last night we bathed the girls and washed us both in a plastic stacking box - I think we managed to do it with about 7 or 8 litres of water…not bad!  The water from washing is now in the ‘loo flushing water carrier’.  We’ve put loads of buckets and things in the garden to collect rain water for flushing the loo and the girls have really entered into the spirit of things with the new rules of ‘no flushing the loo’ and ‘no turning the taps on’.  We’ve also asked Flopsy and Mopsy to use the potty for wees so we can put them on the compost bin so we don’t have to have them sitting in the loo for ages - Flopsy thinks it’s hilarious!  I think I’ll manage without a bowser/bottled water trip today but may have to go tomorrow.  I don’t think it rained as much as they expected last night so hopefully it won’t have delayed the water going back on at the end of the week.  Mum and Dad are laying bets on how long we stick it out before giving up and going to stay with them.  It seems a lot of people have fled Gloucester as the city is eerily quiet.  It’s all very strange!